ADHD Time Blindness: Why It Happens (& How to Beat It)
Have you ever been immersed in an activity and thought, where did the time go?
When you struggle with adult ADHD, that thought probably occurs more often than not–sometimes with unpleasant consequences.
You’re startled by your phone ringing–it’s your child’s school wondering which parent is picking them up from school today (oops, it was you!).
You walk into a restaurant to meet a friend for lunch, and notice their demeanor is a bit chilly because you’re 30 minutes late–even though you totally didn’t intend to make them wait.
There’s a term for this phenomenon: ADHD time blindness.
If you feel helpless and guilty about your poor perception of time, you need to know that time blindness isn’t a personal flaw: it’s a part of the executive dysfunction inherent in ADHD.
Luckily, there are ways to manage it.
As the girl who spent the first 35 years of her life running 15-30 minutes late, I’m still in shock that
1) I’ve never been fired for it (although I had a close call at the bank,) and
2) it’s possible to be consistently on time when you have ADHD (and when I’m late it’s 5 minutes at most)
After several years of keeping up with it, I want you to know that it’s possible for you, too. Find out how below…
What is ADHD time blindness?
ADHD time blindness refers to the inability of a person with ADHD to accurately perceive the passage of time. They may struggle to sense how much time has passed, measure how much time it will take to perform a task, or even know what time of day it is.
Time management is a part of executive functioning–the part of your brain (located in the frontal lobe) that controls working memory, mental flexibility, and self-control.
People with ADHD experience executive dysfunction–meaning they already struggle with forgetfulness, inattention, and impulsiveness. The inability to perceive and manage time effectively is simply another side effect of executive dysfunction.
Time blindness may also be related to sensory processing disorder–which has been associated with both autism and ADHD.
What does ADHD time blindness feel like?
Time blindness may feel like:
“Getting lost” in an activity and feeling surprised when you realize hours (rather than minutes) have passed
Continually being late for appointments and scheduled events–despite your genuine intentions and efforts to be on time
The inability to estimate how much time it will take you to do tasks–and missing deadlines or not meeting commitments as a result
Feeling like you “accomplished nothing” today because you spent too much time on one task
The Emotional & Relational Impact of ADHD Time Blindness
You don’t mean to be late.
You don’t mean to miss deadlines or fail to follow through on commitments.
You do care about your friends and family, and you respect their time–you just can’t seem to manage time well.
ADHD time blindness can affect your interpersonal relationships and your self-esteem.
Chronic lateness is often (and understandably) perceived by friends and family as selfish and inconsiderate. As a result, your relationships become strained because of time blindness–especially when your friends, co-workers or loved ones don’t know you have ADHD.
When others see you as unreliable, you might start to feel that way about yourself, too. You might think, why can’t I just get it together? There must be something really wrong with me.
People with ADHD already feel as if they “can’t do anything right”--due to forgetfulness, inattention, and impulsivity–add in the effects of time blindness on your relationships, and this amounts to a heavy emotional impact.
5 Ways to Cope With ADHD Time Blindness (& Manage Your Time Effectively)
If you have Adult ADHD, you probably won’t ever “get rid of” your time blindness.
But you can take proactive steps to keep it from affecting your well-being and relationships.
Here are 5 ways to help manage your ADHD time blindness:
1. Practice Self-Compassion and Self-Forgiveness
Say it with me:
Having ADHD is hard, and I’m trying my best.
Practicing self-compassion means recognizing your own suffering and offering words or gestures of care.
It’s not easy being you, is it? Having ADHD is difficult.
Taking control of your time blindness so it doesn’t affect others as negatively is your responsibility–but that doesn’t mean time blindness itself is your fault.
And having time blindness doesn’t make you a bad person. In fact–if you’ve made it this far in this article, that means you care, and you’re trying to do something about it!
Self-compassion doesn’t involve making excuses or failing to take responsibility for your behavior.
It’s simply remembering, hey, this is hard for me–I’m really struggling, and it’s okay to be kind and patient with myself as I work on this.
As you work on your ADHD time blindness, you’ll make mistakes. When you do, take a deep breath, and gently offer yourself kindness and forgiveness. This is a process, not an overnight success.
2. Talk to Your Loved Ones About Your Time Blindness
We talked about how being chronically late and failing to meet commitments can come across as inconsiderate to others.
That’s why it’s important to talk to your loved ones about your ADHD time blindness.
ADHD is never an excuse for poor behavior, but it can serve as an explanation.
Explaining your ADHD, how executive dysfunction works, and how hard you’re trying to manage your time blindness will help your loved ones understand you better and cultivate empathy.
Addressing how it affects the other person and their feelings is imperative. Expressing your appreciation for their forgiveness and flexibility shows that you are aware of their position, too. It’s not just about one side of the relationship or the other.
Saying something like, “Thanks so much for your patience–I didn’t mean to make you wait for me, and I understand why you’re frustrated. I have ADHD and struggle with my sense of time, and I am really trying to work on it,” can help your loved ones understand your situation, and send the message that you care about how your actions affect them.
This can help lessen the impact on strained or broken relationships–and you might find your loved ones can and want to provide support.
3. Externally Manage Time With Clocks, Timers, Alarms, and Calendars
When you have ADHD time blindness, you don’t have an internal sense of time.
But not to worry–you can use tools to externally manage your time for you–including clocks, alarms, timers, and calendars.
Here are a few tips for using these tools to manage your time blindness:
Place analog clocks in your house, to help improve your sense of time by watching the hands move in real-time.
Set multiple alarms on your phone or device throughout the day, alerting you to upcoming appointments. You can set different sounds for different types of reminders, to make sure your brain snaps to attention.
Set repeat alarms for recurring events–like picking up your kids from school every weekday at 3pm. (Make sure to turn off the alarm only when you’re jumping into action – otherwise, hit snooze!)
Set a timer for tasks you do regularly, to improve your sense of how long you take to do them. This way, you can accurately set deadlines and meet your commitments.
Schedule meetings, appointments, and tasks on a digital and/or paper calendar. When you commit to an appointment, immediately schedule it in your calendar. Check your calendar every morning, and look ahead several days and weeks.
Some people with ADHD like to time-block their schedule–this means actually labeling and scheduling when you’ll work on certain tasks each day, so you know in advance how you plan to spend your time.
This helps keep distractions and detours from sabotaging your productivity – and it helps you avoid that “frozen” feeling of not knowing where to start or what tasks need doing each day!
Remember to allow some flexibility in your scheduling. If things don’t go exactly as planned, it’s okay. Your schedule is there to guide you and keep you on track, not to control your every minute!
When you know that you feel so much better with structure and you also don’t want structure to suck the joy out of your life, I hear you! That is why I created Time Management Mastery for ADHD Moms - to give ADHD Moms the best of both worlds: structure and flexibility. Stability and freedom. Confidence and being you. If that sounds like what you’ve been looking for, come join me over here.
4. Listen to Music
Surprisingly, music can help you improve your sense of time.
You can design a playlist to match a determined length of time, and when the last song plays, you know the time is up.
Apps you can easily download on your phone or your computer will allow you to play music at different time intervals, depending on how long you want to work.
Researchers believe the neurotransmitter dopamine may play a significant role in ADHD symptoms. Listening to music can stimulate dopamine release in the brain–helping ADHD people stay focused and motivated.
Listening to music can also increase levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin–which plays a big part in mood regulation.
5. Work With a Therapist or ADHD Coach
Living with ADHD time blindness is hard.
Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just can’t manage it by ourselves.
And you don’t have to.
Getting help from an experienced, ADHD-informed therapist or ADHD coach can be a game changer.
Therapists help you process the emotions associated with time blindness–frustration, shame, helplessness, and even anxiety or depression.
ADHD coaches (especially those of us who have ADHD ourselves) work with you to achieve a specific goal or create new habits around time management, and provide emotional support along the way.
If you’re interested in learning more about how to overcome time blindness by “bringing the future into the now”, check out my free coaching resource:
The ADHD Secret to Overcoming Time Blindness
When you want to completely master your time management skills and get some amazing support while you do it, join Time Management Mastery for ADHD Moms, an 11-week program where you’ll learn to rise above overwhelm and create a flexible schedule that works for your ADHD brain. You don’t have to suffer through motherhood - it’s time to enjoy your life again.