How Do You Keep Up with Everything as a Mom with ADHD? #265
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How do moms do ALL.THE.THINGS in a methodical, consistent manner?
My client asked this month. She wanted to see how someone else “does it all” in order to get a better grasp on what it looks like. Plus she asked for an example of a weekly schedule where somebody meal plans, cooks, takes care of their kids, and works part time.
“Doing it all” is an overwhelming challenge that so many moms face.
In this episode, I’m sharing a clip from our call where I explain how I do it all.
Spoiler alert: I don’t do it all at the same time.
This episode is a deep dive into real, actionable strategies to build a flexible weekly schedule that fits your unique brain—and your real life, messiness, and all.
Reminder: you are not a robot. You’re also not parenting a bunch of predictable and programmable robots. Plus, ADHD is anything but predictable! Unless you’re predicting chaos…
Soooo, how do you deal with unpredictability in a job that requires a lot of consistency, such as parenting?
You work WITH your brain.
Instead of chasing an unrealistic ideal, I’m walking you through a realistic plan that is easily adjusted as your life (and your kids!) change.
Lowering the chaos starts with identifying what is most important to you, taking care of yourself, and implementing your foundational schedule in baby steps.
Peek behind the curtain as I share my own approach to balancing meal planning, part-time work, household chores, and kid schedules, emphasizing the power of routines, batching, and giving yourself grace when things don’t go as planned.
Tune in for:
The honest truth on why consistency in motherhood is a myth (and why systems and batching are your new best friends)
A step-by-step walkthrough of creating a foundational schedule that works for real humans (messy mornings and all!)
Why “bare minimum” isn’t lazy—it’s brilliant
Meal planning hacks that even “please-don’t-make-me-cook” mamas can love
Permission to do less, love yourself more, and actually enjoy motherhood—even when the doo-doo hits the wall (literally and figuratively)
This episode is packed with practical tips for lowering decision fatigue, embracing imperfection, and giving yourself credit for how far you’ve come. Whether you’re struggling with meal planning, juggling conflicting priorities, managing transitions, or just feeling stuck in the chaos, I’ve got your back with honest advice and a reminder: you already are a great mom.
Pop in your earbuds, take a deep breath, and let’s figure out together how to keep up with all the things—on your own terms.
lINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Looking for the kind of support you heard today?
Join me for Group Coaching for live, personalized support, or DIY your schedule with my self-paced course Time Management Mastery for ADHD Moms.
Purchase my Foundational Schedule PDF for $5 (this comes with Time Management Mastery for ADHD Moms, so download it inside that course for free)
Free adhd resource:
READY TO GET AWAY?
Our annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat is coming up October 10-12, 2025 just outside of Houston, Texas! You're officially invited :)
“Gift yourself the opportunity to meet like-minded people (literally), make instant friendships, and the space to finally be yourself.” –ADHD Mama T.H.
I’ll take care of all the details - you simply show up and enjoy.
Put it on your calendar now.
Because you deserve to take care of yourself too. Early bird tickets & bonuses close June 1st. Get your all-inclusive ticket here: https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat
Patricia Sung [00:00:02]:
Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy? You can't figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family. I get you, mama. Parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life, creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully and in turn, lead our families well. At the end of the day, we just want to be good moms. But, spoiler alert, you are already a great mom.
Patricia Sung [00:00:52]:
ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess, mama. You can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story, and I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to Motherhood in ADHD.
Patricia Sung [00:01:08]:
Hey there, successful mama. It's your friend, Patricia Sung. Well, I am here today sharing with you a really awesome question that one of my clients asked, and here is my response back to them. And I think sometimes we need these reminders that, like, we don't have to do all the things all the time. We don't have to be a robot. Like, you're not meant to be a robot and be able to do all the things perfectly all the time with no errors and no reminders. Like, you're not a robot, and you're not in charge of caring for robots. Like, you you are in charge of humans.
Patricia Sung [00:01:42]:
You are another human caring for other humans who are inconsistent and complex and different and change with the seasons and are growing. And sometimes we want ourselves to perform like robots do. Now we still have stuff to do. We're still moms. We still got a lot of things on our plate. So how do we still do all the things that need to get done, but also doing them in a way that fits our lives. So this question came from my client, and I'm gonna share with you my response because I want you to know that we can get a lot of stuff done, and we can fit our lives for how our brains work, and we can give ourselves grace when things change and, you know, life's just not happening today. Things aren't going as planned, that we can adjust our plan to fit people who are real people, not robots.
Patricia Sung [00:02:30]:
Now before I jump in to sharing my response to this question, I want to remind you that tickets for the retreat are on sale right now. So head over to patriciasung.com/retreat. Check out all the details, put me on the calendar, grab your ticket, and let's hang out in October. That's patriciasung.com/retreat. Alright. Let's jump into the conversation. So you asked, do you have samples of a weekly schedule where somebody meal plans and cooks and takes care of their kids and works part time? I wanna see how somebody does it so I can get a better grasp. How do people insert all the things in a methodical, consistent manner? What are all the things you should do to remember what you need to do? So when we think about our schedule, the one that I know works immediately is mine, so I'll walk you through what I do.
Patricia Sung [00:03:18]:
What we're gonna do is roll back to the basics. So when we think about what your week looks like as a whole, we wanna start with our foundational schedule is what are the stuff that has to get done at a certain time regularly. You have here in the intro module, the workbook for time management mastery, and you can download that, and it has all the activities in there. And if you want specifically just the foundational schedule, it is here in module four two. You can download just the foundational schedule here. So both of those are in here, but this is inside the workbook as well. And this is gonna be in your time management mastery course, which I know you have. So you're gonna go log into it and go down to the bonuses at the bottom.
Patricia Sung [00:04:01]:
So you're gonna scroll down all the way to here. And the first bonus is make your schedule fast, speed schedule session. So it is about an hour video where we walk through and set up your schedule as fast as possible. Like, this like, if you look at the course, it's like, it's got all the information you need and understanding, like, why you do what you do and how your brain works. But, like, if you're like, I don't wanna know all that right now. I just want the answer. What does my schedule look like? You go to the bonuses, and in one hour, we'll put it together. I nicknamed it AKA jumping with both feet and ask questions later.
Patricia Sung [00:04:34]:
So when you put together your schedule, this video walks you through everything you need to do, but just as a refresher because you've been with me for a little while. First, what we're looking at is writing down in our foundational schedule, that's what is it that you have to do every week, and it's based on a certain time. So we're talking, like, picking up the kids at a certain time, dropping off the kids at a certain time, Soccer lessons are at this time not soccer lessons. They're not the same time. Piano lessons are at the same time. Soccer's usually on Tuesdays at blah blah time. And looking at the things that are time bound, like, you don't have any flexibility in. That's why it's called your foundational schedule.
Patricia Sung [00:05:11]:
Like, these this is what your week is built upon. These things are always happening. So it's not the things that, like, well, maybe it's this and maybe it's that. We'll tackle those later. First, it's what are all the things that are getting done? Like, if you know that you have the same work meeting every Tuesday at 10AM, that goes in there. When we have the foundation set of this is what the basics are that have to get done, then we go to the, like, framing of that, and we're looking at when we look at those particular things that have to get done, did we put the frame around them that they need? So, for example, if, you know, you have daycare drop off at 09:30, like, on your schedule, did you account that, like, basically, from nine to 09:30, you already are accounted for? Like, you're getting everybody out the door for school or day care and, like, putting on coats and shoes or driving there. Like, how much space needs to happen before that that is already accounted for? That it's not like, oh, sure. I could run to the grocery store then.
Patricia Sung [00:06:25]:
Like, no. Like, if you have a drop off at a certain time, then we need to, like, account for the things that are happening right before that to make that happen. And generally speaking with ADHD, we don't account for those things. We're just like, oh, soccer starts at four. And, like, my husband's always asking me, like, do you just think you have, like, what's what's that thing in the Star Trek? It was like, you hit the button. Like, beam me up, Scotty. Like, do you think you just think you appear there? And my brain does. My brain just thinks I appear there.
Patricia Sung [00:06:51]:
So I have to account on my schedule. Like, no. You don't just appear there. You need fifteen minutes to drive there. You need probably five minutes to get out of the car and walk over to the field, or in the door. You need about ten minutes to get everybody actually in the car when you say it's time to leave. Like, it's not an automatic exit as much as we wish it was because probably at least one or more of your children also have ADHD or some kind of neurodiversity. And so getting into the car is not a two minute task.
Patricia Sung [00:07:21]:
It's a ten minute task or a fifteen or a twenty minute task depending on how many people you are hurting, out the door at that time. So in your time management mastery, you're doing the bonus one first to knock it out. But if you need a reminder, like, this also runs through like, each module kinda runs through the different steps. So, like, the intro module is telling you, like, reminder of, like, this is why we do what we do. Module one's running through your motivation, like, especially as someone who is more of, like, a rebel, like, don't tell me what to do. Even past me, past me, don't tell me what to do. When we understand why we're doing something, it's something that we chose. We are more likely to do it even if as, like, a rebel, if understanding why it's helping us can help us find a better solution for where we want to go if we're gonna get mad at past me for making decisions for future me.
Patricia Sung [00:08:10]:
So generally speaking, most of us with ADHD need to understand why we're doing something before we do it. So that's there. Okay. So module two is running through your framework of these are, like, the basic things that need to happen in your day and then the side buffers of what need to happen. Then you've got in module three, if you want more details on overcoming obstacles, like, where things keep like, if you're running into the same problem over and over again, there's support here on all the different, like, frequent obstacles we see. Then number four. This is where we set your framing up. So if you think about your schedule like you're building a house, you start with the foundation, then you put up your frame, then you got the drywall, then you have sheet rock.
Patricia Sung [00:08:53]:
Like, everything is building on top of the layer before that, and this is where we start building in the layers. So we started with the foundation of this. You have to be here right now. You don't have a choice. Now our next layer is what are the things that need to happen around that time where you don't have a choice, like making sure we accounted for the drive to get to the place because our bright bright didn't probably didn't put that in there. As we create these sections of our day, like, you know, getting everybody off to school, midmorning time, lunchtime, midafternoon time, after school time, evening, like, these different sections, some of them are already they already have dibs called. Like, bedtime already has dibs called if you have a kid sub five because you're gonna be right there with them along the way. You're doing everything.
Patricia Sung [00:09:36]:
So that time is already, like, called for. Whereas that's different than the time, say, like, midmorning when your kids are at school or napping and you have space there to do what you want. Like, you can't just do whatever you want, but, like, you have flexibility in that time. There's no dibs called on that time. You already know there's probably things that need to get done in that time, but, like, it's not predetermined as to what must happen in this section. So we're starting to look at the difference between this section that has already has dibs called on it versus this section where you have more flexibility to decide what happens there. From there, we go into module five where we're deciding what are the things that need an assignment so they need to go attached to something else. So, for example, like, cleaning up the breakfast dishes, we can assign that a place so it always happens.
Patricia Sung [00:10:27]:
Because every day, you're gonna have breakfast dishes, and every day, you're gonna have to clean up the mess. So where are we gonna assign that task? Are we assigning it right during breakfast? Are we waiting for everybody to get out the door? Are we gonna handle that when the next time you enter the kitchen, which might be snack or might be lunch? But those things that have to happen throughout the day, they now get assigned like a buddy so that it's already decided when that's gonna happen, and we're lowering the decision fatigue. Every step along this way is like, how do we lower the decision fatigue? That's where the things that have to happen at a bare minimum need a designated home. Now this is not the ideal schedule. This is not if a robot was running your day and never had any hiccups, ran your schedule. Like, this is the bare minimum. If somebody has a stomach bug and the doo doo is hitting the wall, like, what's the bare minimum of what has to get done? Like, these are the things we're giving tasks. We can add more things in later, but right now, bare minimum.
Patricia Sung [00:11:21]:
Bare minimum. We are not trying to make ourselves the unicorn schedule of all schedules that we're not human. You were a robot that you could do all the things. That's not what we're doing here. We're putting in the bare minimum. So we are looking at what are the things that have to happen every day, things like cleaning up the breakfast dishes, putting on clothes. Like, what are the bare minimum things for you in this stage? And keep in mind that, like, if you have a newborn, your bare minimum is very different than if you have kids who can all dress themselves. Like, this is gonna be different for everybody.
Patricia Sung [00:11:49]:
But for you, what's the bare minimum of things that need to get done in a day? Then we go into the last module in module six. That's when we're looking at the things that you have more flexibility on. So the things you would like to get done or the things that would be nice to get done, this is where those fill in into the gaps. Because as you look at your day and you know, like, you know, before school already has dips called on it, putting a kid down for a nap, that time already has dips called on it. But when that kid's actually down for a nap or when your kid is actually at school and now you have this I wouldn't call it free time because moms don't give a lot of free time, but I say flexible time. What's gonna go in there? So then we take these sections where you are able to make more flexible decisions, and that's where we start to layer in the things that we would like to get done. So for me, for example, Monday is my home day. That's where I focus on things in the house.
Patricia Sung [00:12:37]:
I don't do much work that day unless it's, like, some kind of emergency. Like, I'm not working on Monday. So this is my day. I set the boundary. This is home staff on Mondays. That means when I show up Monday morning, I'm not thinking of the 47 things on my to do list. I'm only looking at home tasks. I gotta pick up all the junk laying around from the weekend, throw in a load of laundry.
Patricia Sung [00:13:00]:
Maybe we need to run to the grocery store. Like, those kind of things happen on home day. So I'm not necessarily setting my schedule of, like, you must go to the grocery store on Monday. I might have to, but I'm not requiring myself. And especially since you're someone who's a rebel, like, you probably don't wanna be told you have to go to the grocery store on Monday. So we're not gonna do that. We're gonna say this is home day. And when you show up on home day, you already have a predetermined list of things that usually happen on home day, and you can pick from that list.
Patricia Sung [00:13:27]:
So we're taking the decision fatigue down to we already know this is gonna be a home task, so I'm probably gonna have to do, you know, one of these five things. And it also alleviates the expectation versus reality problem that we run into where, you know, we put on the schedule, oh, I'm gonna vacuum every Monday, and then you don't vacuum, and then you feel like piece of doo doo because you didn't vacuum. Listen. You don't have to vacuum every week. Sure. That's a nice and lofty goal. The robot who could run your schedule would definitely vacuum every Monday, but you're not a robot. So this is the day where you say, like, people go around, you're like, hey.
Patricia Sung [00:14:00]:
My floors are pretty dirty. I'm gonna go ahead and vacuum. Great. But it's not pushing the like, that pressure on yourself, like, you have to vacuum on Monday. You could choose any one of these things that need to get done around the house. And, yes, there might come a point where you're like, okay. Do or die. Like, I gotta vacuum this house because we have guests coming over.
Patricia Sung [00:14:15]:
Well, great. Now that deadline has created a sense of urgency where that's gonna happen, but it's this constant, like, balance of we're lowering the decision fatigue, we're making the list of options smaller, but we're not forcing ourselves to do things that we don't wanna do. As someone who works from home, like, my days are Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. I divide it up where Tuesday is my, like, admin CEO kind of day. I'm working on my business as opposed to in my business. Like, that's when I'm writing emails because the retreat's coming up of, you know, hey. Here's what's happening. Here's the deadline.
Patricia Sung [00:14:46]:
Like, this is the time where I'm running those emails to say, hey. You know, you should come. It's gonna be super fun. But I'm not running emails on Wednesday and Thursday because Wednesday and Thursday are my client facing days. So those are days where I see people. I'm probably gonna have my hair done and not wearing a sweatshirt like today. Like, people days, I have a different expectation of myself. If I need to do a podcast interview, it goes on a people day.
Patricia Sung [00:15:07]:
So that allows me to know when I go to plan my schedule. People days are Wednesday, Thursday. Friday is my family day again. That's where I'm on errands, getting ready for the weekend. And because all of these days have, like, a general, like, assignment or a theme, it makes it easy for me to know. Like, if a friend says, hey. Can we grab lunch? I immediately know it's probably gonna be a Monday or a Friday. If someone asked me for an interview, it's probably Wednesday, Thursday.
Patricia Sung [00:15:32]:
That way I'm not looking at my schedule. Like, well, I don't know. When should I do that? No. It's there's already themes. But I can change those themes anytime if I need to. If somebody has a stomach bug on Wednesday, then I'm already at home. I'm not gonna be peopling. I'm gonna be dealing with that.
Patricia Sung [00:15:47]:
So then I can say, okay. Well, I need to move these appointments on the Wednesday. They need to get moved to either another Wednesday or Thursday, but maybe I could throw some laundry in while I'm sitting around with the sick kid. If not, though, it's fine because it's my bare minimum. Laundry is not on the list. So this is how we create the consistency because I'm not a consistent person.
Patricia Sung [00:16:11]:
It's time to be who you are unapologetically. No more contorting or shrinking yourself to fit inside the box. Instead, you're gonna feel the freedom of just being yourself because you are more accepting of who you truly are. You're invited, mama, to this year's fourth annual successful as a mother weekend retreat. It is time to relax, unwind, rest, and take care of a very important person in the family, which is you. This year's retreat is on October 2025, and you are invited. This is an all inclusive retreat. It covers your meals, your hotel, all of your activities.
Patricia Sung [00:16:47]:
You literally only have to show up, and I will take it from there. We are staying at the peaceful Happy Goat Retreat just outside of Houston, Texas. I have rented the entire property, so we have it all to ourselves where we will enjoy nature and breathe deep in the fresh air and the calm of the lake and the sway of the trees. But this is not camping. This is glamping. You will stay in your very own adorable, modern, tiny home with your own comfy queen-size bed, your own private bathroom, and living space that's just for you. Go check out the pictures I posted on my website because it is so cute. We will spend the weekend learning about our ADHD and tune into who you are and what you need so that you can trust your gut and love yourself a little bit more.
Patricia Sung [00:17:33]:
All while eating delicious food you didn't cook, you didn't clean up, and hanging out with awesome other ADHD mamas who are just like you in this journey of understanding ADHD and also trying to do all the things, but not this weekend. This weekend, you are doing none of the things. You are relaxing. I will take care of everything and you get to focus on you. Head over to my website patriciasung.com/retreat and get your ticket. This is a small group of 14 mamas and we already have six moms signed up, so I don't have a ton of spots left. Do not wait. Do not procrastinate.
Patricia Sung [00:18:07]:
When you hear this and know this is for you, go get your ticket. Earlier tickets are available until the May, and you get a few bonuses by signing up early. Number one, there's a shrinking payment plan available. You can spread your payments out farther when you sign up earlier. There's no extra charge for that. Two, you get to choose your room. Currently, there are four standard tiny homes called the Bijou available and four deluxe tiny homes available. So get your room now so you get first dibs on the type of tiny home that you want to stay in.
Patricia Sung [00:18:35]:
Number three, everyone who buys an early bird ticket is invited to a bonus group coaching session over the weekend. Here, we can dive into the specifics of what you're struggling with and identify what you wanna work on going forward so that you leave the weekend feeling even more confident. And then four, obviously, you get to look forward to this trip all summer long. So go sign up. Get your ticket and take a weekend to relax and take care of yourself while I do all the work. Head over to patriciasung.com/retreat and get your ticket for the fourth annual ADHD moms amazing getaway weekend and relax. Patriciasung.com/retreat.
Patricia Sung [00:19:12]:
And then since you specifically mentioned meal planning. For me, meal planning is part of my weekly check-in. So, usually, I will talk about that with my husband on the weekend because he travels a lot, and sometimes he's working late. And my personal philosophy is I'm not making a full, like, home cooked meal if he's not gonna be here for many a reason. But I'm like, we need to go through the schedule and be like, okay. What's your schedule look like? And then I go through and figure out, like, which nights am I cooking? Which nights do we have stuff going on where it's not gonna be possible for me to cook so I can eliminate those and know either I need to have a premade something or I need to have leftovers from earlier to do. And so that is something that I plan for the week. And when I look at the whole week, like, I write it in the calendar.
Patricia Sung [00:19:58]:
I have a, like, a dinner calendar invite on my phone, and I write down what I said we were gonna do in the calendar invite so that my husband, it also knows, because he's one of the people that really hates, like, if I'm making, like, say, burgers for dinner and then he ends up having a burger for lunch. He really he does not like that. And, like, I get it, dude, but also, if I don't plan it, like, a week ahead of time, I'm not gonna be able to tell you that I'm gonna make burgers on Wednesday because I probably didn't decide till 3PM. So I'm gonna decide time, and I put it in there. And then that way, it's on my calendar so that I know, like, that time is blocked out for cooking if I say I'm gonna cook. Or and also I can set a reminder for, like, the day before where I see it, like, in the evening before, and then I'm like, oh, right. I need to defrost that blah blah blah for tomorrow. Or if it's, like, a day that we have multiple things after school and we're just that's a pickup day, it's a pickup day.
Patricia Sung [00:20:52]:
And that also alleviates my guilt from switching from cooking to pickup is I'm just more realistic now. I'm like, this is not a cooking day. I don't have time for that today. And that's, like, one of the hardest parts I think about being, like, a juggling parent, depending on, like, whether that's you're juggling, you know, work or health issues, whatever it is. It's hard to accept the limitations you have, but also we can't do everything. So for me, meal planning is on usually Fridays. If not, we do it by Sunday. Oh, yeah.
Patricia Sung [00:21:25]:
Because then, also, like, if I'm deciding that over the weekend, then I also am able to, like, make the grocery list and make sure that we have everything we need. Usually, my husband does more of the grocery shopping. I hate the grocery store, and he doesn't mind it. And, also, he spends less money than I do when he was at the store. And I'm like, oh, we could get one of these. And and he's like, no. He goes in with a purpose. He may buy one thing on sale, and then he leaves.
Patricia Sung [00:21:48]:
And so that works out for us. But he travels a lot. So if he's gone, then I have to do it. So that's one of those tasks I literally if I never went to the grocery store ever again, I'd be totally fine in my life. Okay. And then the last question, which is actually the middle question. How do people insert all the things in a methodical and consistent manner? So I am not consistent. I look consistent because I batch things, but I'm not consistent.
Patricia Sung [00:22:11]:
The only reason I can keep up with doing things regularly is because I batch. So, like, for example, how am I consistent with my meal plan is because I do it all at one time. And I'm also flexible about it. Like, I was gonna cook Tuesday, and, like, it was just too much. It was a part of my cycle where I just didn't have enough energy, and I was like, this isn't gonna happen, and that's okay. And that's one of the things that if you're married or in a, like, a committed relationship, you wanna make sure that you're on the same page about this with your partner. But that's one of the concessions that, like, we've decided on is, like, our top three priorities. Like if you're looking at the house being clean, the kids being well taken care of and like food on the table that I prepared with my own two hands, out of those three, if something's gotta go, it's the food.
Patricia Sung [00:22:55]:
So our house being organized is more important to us than having home cooked meals. And, like, paying attention to my boys when they're home is also more important than the house being organized and also the home cooked meals. And if something's gotta go, it's that. So we already know that, like, that's the thing that gets pushed to the wayside when things are hard or especially if he's traveling a lot. So we do a lot of, like, pre prepped meals from Costco or Sam's Club. If you live in Texas, HEB has excellent pre prepared meals. But I imagine there's other grocery stores that do that too. And, or, like, restaurants that have, like, premade stuff.
Patricia Sung [00:23:29]:
Like, I wish I was an excellent tone cook, but I mean, and I am. I'm a very good cook, but I I don't like it. Not with kids around. It's not to me, cooking is not fun when kids are around because the whole time, I'm like, practice your piano. Quit irritating your brother. Stop doing that. And, like, it it gets very stressful for me. So I have accepted this point in my mind, but, like, I don't I don't find this fun, and that's okay.
Patricia Sung [00:23:50]:
I will find cooking fun again maybe in, like, ten years. I have hope. But this isn't my priority right now. So how how do you do this in a consistent manner? You know what are the things that are most important to you, and it's okay to let go of things that are not high on the priority list. So you and your partner come together and decide, like, if these are all the things on the table, these are the things that matter to one or the other person, So they move up on the list, and the things that are least important to the both of you combined, they go to the bottom of the list. So given that disclaimer is that when you are implementing something new, we're doing that one at a time. We're making this foundational schedule. We're reorganizing, like, how we run our day, and that's our plan.
Patricia Sung [00:24:31]:
But we're not going to execute all of these things at one time. That's too much. Like, when I give you this rundown, this is, like, multiple months getting this as like a functioning system. I really probably should've said that at the beginning actually, that this is not an overnight thing. It's adjusting your life slowly, which, boo, patience, two thumbs down, don't wanna wait. But knowing that, like, especially as moms and we're already juggling so many things, we can't change everything at once. Like, yes, sometimes things will just click and it fits and, like, great. But there's times that it doesn't, and that's okay.
Patricia Sung [00:25:05]:
And you have to experiment and fiddle with it and change it. And I think a lot of times, like, where we give up is like, well, I tried this thing and it didn't work, so I give up. And I think one of the best parts of having ADHD is that when we are committed and we understand why we're doing something and and this is important to us, we are very persistent. And I always go back. Persistence, persistence, persistence is more important than consistency. So for me, I don't like meal planning. If I never made another meal for the rest of my life, like, I'd be fine. If I ever won the lottery, there will be signs, and it'll be that I have a personal chef.
Patricia Sung [00:25:37]:
And then I never have to go to the grocery store or cook food ever again, just so you know. So for me, I don't like this part of being a mom. I could also get rid of laundry and never do that again. I've accepted my place in life of laundry, but I don't like it. And what I like about meal planning and what I like about my laundry routine is that I don't have to think about them very much. That I have taken out as much effort in thinking about it as possible. That's what I like about it. And I wanna spend the least amount of time of my life worrying about laundry or cooking food as possible.
Patricia Sung [00:26:07]:
So that's why I'm good about sticking with my meal planning because I don't like it, but that makes it so much easier that I'm not like, every day at 05:30 realizing I have no idea what I'm gonna cook and we should have already started eating. Like, that's why I meal plan. So given that, we are not gonna solve all these problems at once. So when you look at all the things that I have just told you, what's the one thing that feel it's like most troublesome to you? And let's start there. Do that one thing, one at a time. You fiddle with it. If you get frustrated with it, set that obstacle aside and try a different one, and we can circle back to that. But it takes time to get all these pieces ironed out and find the right fit.
Patricia Sung [00:26:45]:
And when you kinda get the hang of things, then your kids change and you switch seasons and you go from school year to summer or summer to school year or you go from two naps down to one nap or, oh, now it's soccer season and three days a week, we're not even home in the evening, so our evening routine is off. Like, the thing about being a parent that can be, like, so frustrating is, like, when you get the hang of something, then it changes. So what I want you to focus on is that, yes, things are changing, but you have fundamental skills that you have adapted and now you are rearranging them to fit in this new season. So you're not starting from scratch every time, even though you're like, great. I finally figured out this afternoon routine and now it's time for summer. It's like, no. No. No.
Patricia Sung [00:27:25]:
No. We're not we don't have to throw the whole thing out and start over. You have adapted and created habits and skills that you can reapply in a different way. And worst comes to worst, they'll be back in school again in the fall and you jump back in. But it is hard because our, like, transitions are hard for us, and so it will feel really uncomfortable as you're moving. So we remind ourselves, we have all these skills that we can pull from, rearrange, and reapply. So we can pull the schedule that worked two years ago and rearrange it now because we built those skills. So it all is not lost.
Patricia Sung [00:27:59]:
We don't have to be consistent. We do wanna take it one step at a time. And, like, whatever thing is most on fire at the moment, we could start there. And then as you start to learn what works for you, then we apply those skills in other places. So, like, when I talk about, like, for me so I have Alexa routines in the morning where she is announcing when we need to, like, go from upstairs to downstairs, how much time we have left to eat breakfast. And, like, we're not necessarily upstairs to downstairs, how much time we have left to eat breakfast. And, like, we're not necessarily always standing, like, on track with exactly timing that she says, but at least I'm aware that, like, oh, right. It's time to move.
Patricia Sung [00:28:30]:
Like, we need to wrap up this breakfast because we gotta go the next step. Because that's working for us in the morning, now I'm testing it out in the afternoon because our schedule has changed. Different days, we have different schedules, and so they're not, like, they're not all ironed out yet. I'm still in the test phase, but I know that that helps me stay on task and be aware of the time. So I'm applying that to a different area of my life. So as you learn the things that make sense for you, you can then turn around and use that same fundamental strategy and apply it somewhere else. So all of this that you're doing is building upon the skills that you have and building and building even when things feel hard or, like, oh, now I have to scrap that old schedule. It's you know, start a new one.
Patricia Sung [00:29:10]:
You're never starting from scratch. You are building upon all the different things that you have worked on and learned and known. And then, you know, sometimes you gotta take the Play Doh, smush it up to make something else, but you still have Play Doh. And you still learn how to make, like, little round balls and, like, little, you know, when you're rolling, you're like, like, a spaghetti tube. What you call it? Like, like a roll. You're like, you know how to, like, make the fundamental pieces, and that's way you can build a pot or you could build, like, a little bunny because you know how to make balls and rolls. Like, you're just reapplying them in a different way. So that wasn't a very in-depth answer to your question, my dear.
Patricia Sung [00:29:43]:
But I want you to know that you know a lot of stuff. So you got this. I believe in you. And, yeah, as you marinate on all that, what's most on fire? What's the thing that we need to dive into first? Like, where's the biggest obstacle? Is it meal planning? Is it a homework schedule? Is it like, whatever. Start there. Start brainstorming. And remember, you know so many things, and you have improved so much over the last couple of years. I know that the you three years ago would be like, what? You are amazing.
Patricia Sung [00:30:11]:
I can't believe you do
Patricia Sung [00:30:12]:
have this cool stuff. And reminding ourselves how far we've come really helps too. So I'll talk to you soon, successful mama. For more resources,
Patricia Sung [00:30:21]:
classes, and community, head over to my website, motherhoodinADHD.com.