You’re Not Missing Out When You Say No #270
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Ever feel like if you say no to a good opportunity, you’ll regret it forever? Like the next big thing is right around the corner... and you’ll miss it if you stop moving? I’ve been there. Saying no is hard, especially when your ADHD brain loves chasing shiny new ideas.
In this episode, I’m sharing a clip from my friend Jacki Hayes’ podcast where I answered, “What’s the biggest business lesson you’ve learned lately?” And spoiler alert: it wasn’t about business strategy. It was about letting go—of plans, of good ideas, of the fear that saying no means missing out.
You’ll hear why I closed something I loved, how I made peace with doing less, and what happens when you create space for what truly matters. And if your brain, like mine, struggles with feeling like every season is forever... this one’s for you.
Come take a deep breath with me. You’re not falling behind when you say no—you’re making space for what’s next.
lINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Jacki’s podcast: Here’s What I Learned
Free adhd resource:
Download the 10 Ways to Stay Calm Video and Checklist for free
Super stressed and need a break?
We’re learning more about trusting and loving yourself after years of feeling like you don't quite fit the expectations at our annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat, October 10-12, 2025, just outside of Houston, Texas!
“Honestly, this was one the best weekends I've had since becoming a mom. I've never felt so seen and understood. I would hop on a plane and go again. No hesitation! I'll follow y’all anywhere, moms.” –ADHD Mama J.Q.
I’ll take care of all the details - you simply show up and enjoy. I take care of you while you learn how to take even better care of yourself, in a way that’s sustainable for real momlife.
Because you can take care of your family when you’re in a healthy place. Because you can take care of your family when you’re in a healthy place. Get your all-inclusive ticket here: https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat
Patricia Sung [00:00:02]:
Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy? You can't figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family. I get you, Mama. Parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fitness for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life. Creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully and in turn, lead our families well. At the end of the day, we just want to be good moms.
Patricia Sung [00:00:47]:
But spoiler alert, you are already a great moment. ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess, Mama. You can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story, and I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to Motherhood in ADHD.
Patricia Sung [00:01:08]:
Hey there, successful mama. It's your friend Patricia Sung. Today's episode is different. Came up kind of like a surprise. My friend Jackie Hayes, who I've been on her podcast before called here's what I've Learned, she asked me to answer a couple of questions and after I recorded my answers, I was like, these aren't actually business answers. These are more about who I am as a person and I wanted to share them with you. So I am going to share two clips, one today and one in the next couple months, about a question that Jackie asked me. And I'll put the information for Jackie's podcast here in the show notes.
Patricia Sung [00:01:42]:
So if you want to go listen to the full episode where not just me, but lots of business owners are sharing their advice on questions, you can go ahead and and take a look. Listen to Jackie's podcast. So here's my answer to what is the biggest business lesson that I've learned recently? Hey there. This is Patricia Sung of Motherhood in ADHD. And here is the biggest business lesson that I've learned over the last couple years, and that is how to let go. I often get a plan in my head and I've, you know, I've crossed all my T's and dotted on my I's. I know where I'm going and the older that I get, the more I realize that I don't actually know where I'm going, how I'm going to get there, and being able to hold all of my plans with open hands and being okay with letting go. And things don't go the way that I thought or expected or, like, even, like, even imagined them.
Patricia Sung [00:02:36]:
Going has been such a valuable skill because when I was holding on so tightly, I was really miserable. I was so frustrated. I didn't understand why things weren't going the way that I wanted them to be. And my expectations were not meeting the realities at hand. And now that I have let go, there is so much more space for life to unfold in ways that are even better than I imagined. And it's not an issue of, like, not trying towards something or working towards a goal. It's just knowing that I don't know the future. I don't have a magic crystal ball.
Patricia Sung [00:03:10]:
I am not the creator of the universe. Like, there is nothing that I can do to plan for every occurrence. And all it does is make me really anxious. And when I've accepted, like, hey, I don't have control over a lot of things. And the more that I seek control, it's just driving up my anxiety instead of letting things unfold how they may. It's just really change my outlook and my happiness overall. One way that I see this is understanding that, like, seasons aren't forever, and especially when you have adhd, like, our sense of time's a little wonky. And I really don't have a good sense of time, not in the short term and not in the long term.
Patricia Sung [00:03:48]:
So, like, if you ask me, like, okay, Patricia, like, I'm just, like, mental timer. Tell me when it's been five minutes, I don't think I would be anywhere close. And if you got to, like, 30 minutes or an hour, I would have absolutely no idea how long I had been sitting there in order to tell you if it's been five minutes or an hour or two hours, I don't have a sense of time. But this also is, like, I don't have a sense of time in, like, the grand scheme of things. And I feel like whatever I'm dealing with right now feels like it's going to be forever and it's not. And, like, constantly reminding myself that, like, even though I'm in a hard season, it doesn't mean things are gonna be hard forever. And even though I can't see how something is gonna come together now, that doesn't mean it's not gonna come together ever. I have to physically remind myself that whatever I'm dealing with right now is not necessarily what I'm gonna be dealing with in two months or five years.
Patricia Sung [00:04:37]:
And I need that constant reminder to know that like whatever this situation is, it's not forever.
Patricia Sung [00:04:46]:
It's time to be who you are unapologetically. No more contorting or shrinking yourself to fit inside the box. Instead, you're going to feel the freedom of just being yourself because you are more accepting of who you truly are. You invited Mama to this year's fourth annual Successful as a Mother Weekend Retreat. It is time to relax, unwind, rest and take care of a very important person in the family, which is you. This year's retreat is on October 10th, 12th, 2025 and you are invited. This is an all inclusive retreat. It covers your meals, your hotel, all of your activities.
Patricia Sung [00:05:22]:
You literally only have to show up and I will take it from there. We are staying at the peaceful Happy Goat Retreat just outside of Houston, Texas. I have rented the entire property so we have it all to ourselves where we will enjoy nature and breathe deep in the fresh air and the calm of the lake and the sway of the trees. But this is not camping. This is glamping. You will stay in your very own adorable, modern, tiny home with your own comfy queen size bed, your own private bathroom and living space that's just for you. Go check out the pictures I posted on my website because it is so cute. We will spend the weekend learning about our ADHD and tune into who you are and what you need so that you can trust your gut and love yourself a little bit more.
Patricia Sung [00:06:08]:
All while eating delicious food you didn't cook, you didn't clean up and hanging out with awesome other ADHD mamas who are just like you in this journey of understanding ADHD and also trying to do all the things. But not this weekend. This weekend you are doing none of the things.
Patricia Sung [00:06:24]:
You are relaxing.
Patricia Sung [00:06:25]:
I will take care of everything and you get to focus on you. Head over to my website patriciasung.com retreat and get your ticket. This is a small group of 14 mamas and we already have a bunch of mamas going. So I don't have a ton of spots left. This means do not wait, do not procrastinate when you hear this. This is your sign. Go sign up, get your ticket and.
Patricia Sung [00:06:49]:
By signing up now you have access.
Patricia Sung [00:06:50]:
To the shrinking payment plan before it's gone. There's no extra charges for that. So go sign up, get your ticket and take a weekend to relax and take care of yourself while I do all the work. Head over to patricasung.com/retreat and get your ticket for the fourth annual ADHD Mom's Amazing Getaway Weekend. And relax. Patriciasung.com/retreat.
Patricia Sung [00:07:16]:
Secondly, I have to let go of ideas. I am someone who will always have more ideas. And when I accepted, like, I will have plenty of good ideas, I didn't feel like I had to hold on to every good idea or that I needed to enact on every good idea because there will always be more good ideas. And I trust myself that I am going to have 57 more brilliant ideas ideas probably by the end of the day. So I don't have to worry about, like, other people stealing my ideas. I don't have to worry about, like, well, if I don't jump on this, like, someone else is gonna make millions of dollars off this idea. No, like, there's always gonna be more ideas and I will always have another one so I don't have to hold on to them like white knuckle. And I don't have to act on every good idea.
Patricia Sung [00:07:56]:
There's also like the whole idea of, like, I don't have to do all the good ideas right now. Like, I can, I can do one good idea right now and then I can always add more ideas later, but I don't have to do them all in this very mom. And that links to understanding. Simplicity is much easier on my mental load. And keeping my life as simple as possible is such a blessing for my capacity. And again, I can always add in more things later. But in creating that ease and that simplicity, what it allows me to do is be okay with letting go of good ideas in order to have space for great ideas. I am only one person.
Patricia Sung [00:08:33]:
I only have so much capacity. I have young kids. Like, there's only so much that I can accomplish in a day. And knowing that I, I am letting go of really good ideas so that I can use that finite amount of capacity that I have for something that's really great allows me to be okay with letting go of the good ideas. Like, for example, I closed my membership at the end of last year and I was heartbroken about it because I loved the membership so much. I loved this community of women that I was walking with literally every day. And yet I knew I had to let go of that good idea to make space for a great idea that was coming forward. And I would never have been able to execute the great idea had I been holding on to all my good ideas because I only have so much capacity.
Patricia Sung [00:09:17]:
And that was a really hard lesson to learn. And yet I'm really grateful that I chose to let go of the membership and I chose to eliminate several pieces of my business over the last six to eight months. And that's what's given me the space to enjoy this summer with my kids and also work on my book that's coming out in 2027, which feels again really far away. My sense of time is like that's basically never, but it'll be here before I know it. And letting go of all the things that I was handling is what allowed me to have space to write the book. And I never would have said yes to writing the book had I been carrying around all those other responsibilities that I had. So this has been a tough lesson to learn. But letting go of good things, of creating space for flexibility and move has allowed my happiness to skyrocket.
Patricia Sung [00:10:16]:
My stress is much lower and I am spending my limited capacity that I have to spend like towards my business on things that I really love, like one on one clients and writing this book. So my encouragement to you is when you have to let go of something that's good and you really don't understand why. Knowing that you are creating space for something really great to be able to take root and grow in your life.
Patricia Sung [00:10:41]:
Alright successful mama, I will talk to you very soon. For more resources, classes and community, head over to my website motherhoodinadhd.com.