Stop Saying Everyone Has ADHD: Unpopular Opinions #287
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“Doesn’t everyone have a little ADHD?” Ugh.
As a recovering people pleaser, I’ve spent a lot of my life keeping my opinions to myself. But I’m practicing speaking boldly, and I’m starting here: please stop saying everyone has a little ADHD.
In this short episode, I’m sharing an excerpt from my upcoming book and talking about the difference between occasionally losing your keys and a persistent struggle that creates compounding problems in your everyday life. We’ll also talk about why ADHD can feel like it’s everywhere when you look around.
When someone says “everyone does that”, it can feel like your struggles aren’t serious enough to deserve concern. But having a brain that works differently is hard, and you deserve to have that taken seriously.
If you’re wondering whether you have ADHD or preparing to talk with your doctor, I’m also sharing my free ADHD symptoms checklist. It includes real-life examples and space to write your own, so you don’t have to remember everything in the middle of your appointment.
If you’ve ever felt brushed off by the comment “everyone has a little ADHD”, this conversation is for you.
Links mentioned in this episode:
Pre-order your copy of my upcoming book: Motherhood in ADHD: Practical Strategies to Calm the Storm in Your Home, Heart, and Mind, available in print, e-book, and audiobook formats. Then fill in the form to request your pre-order bonuses (same linked page).
Patricia Sung [00:00:02]:
Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy? You can't figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family. I get you, Mama. Parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest-worthy visions of organization and structure fit For everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life: creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully and, in turn, lead our families well. At the end of the day, we just want to be good moms. But spoiler alert, you are already a great mom.
Patricia Sung [00:00:52]:
ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess mama. You can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story, and I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to Motherhood in ADHD. Hey there, Successful Mama. It's your friend, Patricia Sung. I am trying something new for the next couple episodes here, and I'm hoping that it'll become a regular appearance, but I am sharing my bold and unfiltered unpopular opinions on certain topics. Which as a recovering people pleaser and a perfectionist and all, you know, just training myself to keep my opinions to myself for most of my life is quite the step outside my normal. But this is something that I'm really working on for myself this year is speaking truth and speaking boldly.
Patricia Sung [00:01:41]:
And I feel like I did that really well with the book because there was nobody there to argue with me. And so I'm putting myself out there and speaking boldly and practicing that here with you. And so this should be interesting. And keep in mind, you don't have to agree with everything I say. As I always tell my kids, if everybody in the world was the same, it'd be really boring. So it's okay if you don't agree with me, and I'm still gonna practice speaking boldly my opinions. So let's jump in and see how it goes. Okay, unpopular opinion of the day: stop saying everyone has a little bit of ADHD.
Patricia Sung [00:02:14]:
Ugh! I'm gonna read you an excerpt from the book. If you've not gotten your book, go preorder your book. But this is on page probably 16, assuming it's still the same. Doesn't everyone have a little ADHD? No. People with ADHD make up 2.5 to 5% of the population. That is a very small group, so definitely not everyone. There are 2 reasons people say this. One, everyone experiences the hallmark symptoms of ADHD from time to time.
Patricia Sung [00:02:40]:
You don't have ADHD because you lost your keys once. We're humans, not robots. When you have ADHD, the lost keychain is a persistent problem that creates more problems. It's a totally different magnitude. You've been late to work 3 times this month because you lost your keys. You've locked yourself out of your house or car so much that you have the locksmith saved in favorites. Or you have multiple keys hidden around your house and stashed with friends. You leave your keys in unusual places like the fridge or the litter box.
Patricia Sung [00:03:06]:
You make 3 trips back inside the house every time you leave because you forgot so many things. Birds of a feather flock together. If it feels like ADHD people are everywhere, it's because you are surrounded. By your people. ADHD is heritable. Likely quite a few folks in your family have undiagnosed ADHD. This means that you grew up around people with ADHD and see a lot of these ADHD folks in your everyday life. Humans also tend to make friends with people who understand them, so if you have ADHD, a good portion of your friends likely do too.
Patricia Sung [00:03:35]:
The moment someone says, doesn't everyone have a little ADHD? I think that they are either: Undiagnosed. In denial. Both. Or 4, most of their family is undiagnosed and they somehow don't have it. Okay, so this drives me insane. I hate when people are like, doesn't everyone have a little ADHD? No, no, they don't. Please stop saying that. Are you curious if you have ADHD? Like, you're still just not quite sure.
Patricia Sung [00:04:02]:
Is this me or not? Maybe you're getting ready for your diagnosis appointment, or maybe you want to bring it up with your GP, but you're not quite sure how to talk about it. I've put together a checklist of symptoms that's not your average boring list of symptoms. It's the Patricia take on, from what I've seen of working with thousands of women, ways that I see these symptoms actually showing up in real life. I put it all together in a downloadable checklist, and I want you to go get it. Download the checklist, go through and check off, here are the things that show up in my life, and there's space in there for you to write in where you see these things showing up in your life. And then you can take that list to your doctor's appointment and show them, like, when I say I'm being forgetful, here's what I mean. When you ask me, like, are you hyperactive? This is how hyperactivity shows up in my life, in my brain. So that you have concrete examples and you don't freeze up when it comes time to talk about it.
Patricia Sung [00:04:56]:
You have your preparation there and you feel confident and capable in talking about you because you know yourself best. So head over to my website, And you can download the free checklist at patriciasung.com/adhd-symptoms, and that'll go right to your email, and you can take that with you and be prepared for that tough conversation. Again, that's patriciasung.com/adhd-symptoms. Just because you, like, can't hear sometimes doesn't mean you'd be like, well, isn't everybody a little deaf? No, they're not. If you have to squint at something, it looks like it's a little far away and you can't see it. You're like, isn't everybody a little blind? No, they're not. Not everybody has ADHD. But as soon as someone says that, I'm like, oh, you don't know, do you? It's like the Southern passive-aggressive, like, bless your heart, you don't know.
Patricia Sung [00:05:47]:
Everybody does not have ADHD. You do, probably. A bunch of your friends do. Your family does. But not everybody. You're just around a whole lot of people that do and don't know. You don't know. They don't know.
Patricia Sung [00:05:58]:
I don't know. Who doesn't know? But it's a— if you really think that everybody's got a little ADHD, then you, um, you— this is your, your PSA. You should probably go get that checked. 'Cause here's the thing, having a brain that's different is hard. And when people casually throw that around, it really feels invalidating. Like your struggles aren't worth the concern, or they're not serious enough. And let's be honest, if someone's feeling sick, we wouldn't be like, oh well, doesn't everyone have a little cancer? No! You would never say that. That's rude and disrespectful.
Patricia Sung [00:06:35]:
Please stop saying that. Go share this with a friend. That's my unpopular opinion of the day. I'll talk to you soon, Successful Mama. Bye. So, big hugs, and I will talk to you soon, Successful Mama. For more resources, classes, and community, head over to my website, motherhoodinadhd.com.