Finding Support as an ADHD Mom: Cultivating Real-Life Friendships & Prioritizing Yourself #189
Who’s in your support circle?
Moms often put ourselves at the bottom of the list, including friendships and how we surround ourselves with support.
Yet, you need support just as much as your children do. You need real-life connections. You deserve rest and down time.
Cuz here’s the truth: we can’t regulate our own emotions when we’re burnt out, worn down, and feeling alone. And when we can’t regulate ourselves, guess who else isn’t regulated while hitching a ride on your struggle bus… yup, your family. Yikes.
Today we’re talking all about why I started this all-inclusive annual luxury retreat & conference for ADHD moms and who this event is meant for. Here's your official invitation to join a welcoming group of moms in person to rest, hang out together, build your support system, and learn to take care of yourself.
Early bird registration starts today through May 31st, so grab your ticket here. The first few moms who register will be given the opportunity to register for one of the intimate VIP sessions, too!
And if you can’t make it this year, what will you do to take care of yourself? Because you deserve care, too.
Ready to get away?
Our annual ADHD Moms Luxury Weekend Retreat is October 6-8, 2023 in Houston, Texas! Grab your all-inclusive Early Bird ticket now!
“Honestly, this was one the best weekends I've had since becoming a mom. I've never felt so seen and understood. I would hop on a plane and go again. No hesitation! I'll follow y’all anywhere, moms.” –ADHD Mama J.Q.
I’ll take care of all the details - you simply show up and enjoy.
Because you deserve to take care of yourself too. Sign up here: https://www.patriciasung.com/adhd-mom-retreat
Patricia Sung 00:00
Have you ever introduced yourself as having ADHD like 40 times and wrote to strangers? I did last week and it was rough.
Patricia Sung 00:10
Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy. You can't figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family. I get your mama, parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully, and in turn, lead our families. Well, at the end of the day, we just want to be good moms. but spoiler alert, you are already a great mom. ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess mama, you can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story. And I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to motherhood in ADHD.
Patricia Sung 01:15
So last week, I was at the mom 2.0 summit, which is a conference for online creators who are all moms and all the industry surrounding that kind of business. And wow, it was overwhelming. I totally got overwhelmed the first day and spent the night crying in my room by myself because I had prepared for a lot. I prepared like the presentation I was speaking you know, getting my family ready. Before I leave, I packed all my suitcases, I thought about what were my goals going into it. What did I want to accomplish. And you know what I didn't think about the fact that this was going to be the first time I went into a large group of people and have the word ADHD on my nametag and introduced myself to person after person after person as someone with ADHD. And wow, was not prepared for that. And like my brain couldn't make sense of it. Because like, I'm so proud of what I do. And I literally talk about this every day. And yet it was really overwhelming when I realized like, wow, this is because I don't know if these are safe people. Normally, when I am introducing myself and explain what I do, I know that this person is going to be receptive, or it's just one time and if they're not receptive, then like oh, well, like move along. It's just one time. But it was only like one opportunity for rejection. This was the first time where it was like multiple people over and over and over and over again for hours. And that not knowing of whether or not this was a safe place to be myself was really a lot of energy capacity. Now, it turns out, it was a very safe place for me to be who I am. And there were a lot of entrepreneurs with ADHD they're so shout out to all of you. You're listening, it turned out to be wonderful. But going in, I didn't know that. Thankfully, I have the self coaching skills to walk myself through this. So even though day one was rough, and a crowd a lot. The evening, I was able to use my self coaching skills. So like first through my self pity party, then I used my self coaching skills to bolt together and refocusing on like, why am I here? And why am I doing this? And like, what's the point? The point is to learn like how to get this message out to more moms and help you so with that refocus, I was able to jump back in for these two and three, but I was lamenting this whole conundrum, pity party, what have you with Megan, on the hard days, if you haven't listened to her podcast, it's wonderful. It's for moms with neurodivergent kids. And we're talking about community and having a place to be yourself and talk with other moms who get you and understand you and going through similar things and how valuable that is. And like also, how we were meeting so many moms with either neurodivergent themselves or kids that had neuro divergence. And it was just like, wow, like, so many of these moms don't have a community to be a part of so many of these moms don't have anyone to talk to and Megan narrowly brainstorming like how do we get moms to know that this community is valuable? This is necessary for us. We need a place to have support. This is what motivates moms like us is creating these spaces for moms to have community. I mean, that is why I even started the retreat is because two moms in successful mama meetup said like, hey, I really wish we could hang out in person. And I we really went Oh, I'm not organizing that. That's way too much work. I'm not doing that.
Patricia Sung 04:49
So let that idea die. And it didn't work.
Patricia Sung 04:54
It didn't die because that little seed had been planted. And while my immediate reaction was like oh no
Patricia Sung 05:00
That's too much that seemed sprouted, and it grew roots. And I realized like this is a necessary thing. We need to be able to be in person and be around people who get us and like, I love our online community. It is so supportive and absolutely wonderful. And like I wouldn't trade it for the world. And I also want to be able to meet you in real life and sit across the table from you and see your face and your facial expressions and like, know what you look like from the neck, not just my little zoom square, like, I want to be able to sit by your side and hold your hand when you're telling me the hard stuff and give you a hug, we need that connection. And we need that vulnerability, that space to be vulnerable, where we know we're safe. That was one of like, the most mind blowing things to me is that when we got together last year for the first retreat, everyone just jumped in right away in being fully themselves sharing all the stuff under the layers and being open. It's one of the things I'm most proud of is that everyone showed up as themselves. Mama Jay said, honestly, one of the best weekend's I've had since becoming a mom, I've never felt so seen and understood, I would hop on a plane and go again, no hesitation. I'll follow y'all moms anywhere. Mama T said gift yourself this opportunity to meet like minded people literally make instant friendships and the space to finally be yourself. I know after being at this conference last week is that it's really scary to go somewhere on your own and not know anyone. And I want you to know that this is worth it. And you're not going to feel like you don't know anyone very quickly the group bonded in the first night. Like I want you to be super confident in this decision. When you decide to come I want you to feel like this is a really safe choice for you. I don't want you walking in feeling like oh, I don't know if this is the right decision. Like, yes, we're gonna have like nervous butterflies because we're doing something new. But I want you to know that you are going to walk through these doors and feel welcomed with open arms, that these other moms are going to feel like you've known them for so long. By the end of the weekend, it'll feel like you've met these people and known them for years, because we all get each other, even though we were a very very group in ages, there were younger moms all the way to older moms. I mean, vintage moms, vintage moms. And we were all different cultures, different races, different religions, different economic backgrounds, we were a very eclectic group. And yet, we all felt comfortable with each other because we knew, and we know that we understand each other struggles. And everyone came in with this vulnerability and openness. Like this is kind of thing that you you can't buy and you can manufacture is because each of you show up and are willing to be fully yourself. Because you know, that's how I am with you. Like we all walked in the door that way. And it was really beautiful to see. Because it wasn't just me being vulnerable. It wasn't just me being welcoming. It wasn't just me, offering support, everyone cared and helped and supported each other. That was really beautiful. And I want you to experience that. I want you to know that there are people like that out there for you. I want you to be able to have like real life connections to like, I adore our online community. Absolutely. And I want you to know that you can have that in person too. There's just something about being in the room with somebody and seeing them really for who they are. This retreat is for you if you have ADHD, and that includes if you suspect you have ADHD, there is no like show your diagnosis certification card when you walk in the door, or like you're rejected at the door by like the doorman. Like that's not a thing. If what I'm talking about resonates with you then come learn about your brain. Try out these strategies and tools that make sense to you meet people who work like you do. You don't have to have an official diagnosis to be welcomed here. This is for you. If you're a mom, or your mom, you're in charge of all humans, okay, great. Come on. This is for you. If you want support in your ADHD journey, like you are ready to do something different, you're ready to understand you're ready to learn. Like, I know that like we're not all in that place. There was like probably a solid decade where I did not learn about my brain and I just dealt with it. It may have even been longer than that actually. But like, I've gone through that phase of like, I'm not researching this. I'm not looking into it. I'll be fine. We just make this work. But there comes a point where you're like, I'm ready to do something different. I want to learn I want to figure out what works for me. I want to understand my brain
Patricia Sung 10:00
I want to feel confident in what I'm doing. I want things to be different. Not that you want to be a different person, like you want to be the best version of you, and you're tired of the status quo and you're tired of it being the same old, same old. So if you want to learn how to be the best you with your ADHD brain and make your life fit you rather than trying to fit in this box that everyone else expects, and you want to lean in to the way that you function, this is for you, Mama Dee said, this is a chance to invest in yourself and build a community that will empower your future worth it. And this is also for you, if you want a break, you are ready for some rest and relaxation and refreshment and rejuvenation. Who else are those I'll start with ours like, this is a time for you to relax, and enjoy, like pouring into yourself, because you deserve rest and care, you deserve to have a break. And we're gonna talk more on that next week. If you're feeling guilty about that, we're going to talk about that next week. You deserve to have some rest, you deserve to have a break. And when you arrive, I'm going to take care of everything for you. When I say this is all inclusive, it includes all the decision making, and the planning and the organizing, all of that is also included. Once you arrive, I take care of it all I'm taking care of your hotel, I'm taking care of the meals we're seeing in a beautiful luxury hotel, you have the whole room to yourself a glorious king bed where you get to stretch out and nobody's taking up space, no one's kicking you in the middle of night, you can truly rest. Like there's something about that level of rest when your brain is not like still kind of on because it's still like listening one ear out for your kids, you can truly rest in your Fluffy, fluffy bed and taking care of all the meals, we're going to go to some of my favorite places in Houston Hill, a food tour, and you don't have to cook, you don't have to clean, you get to show up and enjoy. You're not cutting anybody's food up into pieces except your own. I want you to be able to have some respite from decision fatigue, while you're not the one who's always on and you get to truly just enjoy to be able to turn off that internal driver that's constantly pushing you forward of like pay attention. What time is it gotta get somebody off to breakfast Did you wake up so and so it's time for an app? It's time for lunch? Did you eat snacks? Oh, there's pickup. Did you start dinner yet? Oh, bedtime bedtime homework. Oh, gotta pick up that kid from their job. Oh, extracurricular. Today, forget about that. Do you have all the stuff like that constant driver, let's like, Man all day long of reminding you and like keeping everything on track, you get to turn that off and just enjoy. I want you to be able to rest. You will have space Saturday afternoon to do what you want. If you want to go get a spa treatment or you just want to take a nap you want to go for a walk. But they'll also be activities together. You don't have to play on them, you just show up. And when you show up, you get to connect with other mamas who are also thrilled to have a grown up conversation. Mama Kay said this weekend was nothing short of a dream weekend come true. It was life changing to learn to witness and experience the bonding amongst a group of women, I felt truly celebrated every moment to bond with so many women neurodivergent mothers was truly a gift in itself. Only a mother could have thought of that many ways to check off the boxes, treat, pause, relax, check, check and check. So so far, I want you to have this because one, I want you to know that you're not alone, I want you to know that there's other mamas out there who get you that you can have a support system that is there to lift you up and nods and gets you like when you're like man, I'm really struggling with this. And there's for their moms like, Yep, you're not crazy. This is a real thing that you're struggling with. And other people are struggling with it to number two, I want you to have the opportunity for real life connection. Because there's just something different about being in person. Number three, I want you to be able to rest to have someone else take care of you. And the other reason I want you here is because I want you to have a chance to learn about your brain in a way that makes sense for you. I want you to have a way to learn that fits how you learn that the learning environment is fit for you. When we do our conference portion on Saturday morning, and we learn about our brains teacher Patricia shows up and it's not that teacher you can stand. It's the one that you hear every week who explains things in a way that you understand. And I set up a learning environment where like me and I can actually learn this way. We're going to be diving into emotional regulation, and how do you stay regulated or learn how to regulate at all in the first place? If this isn't a skill that you already have? Like I want you to know how you can take care of yourself so that you can be in a place where you can then turn around and help your kids regulate because chances are if you have ADHD
Patricia Sung 15:00
Three, at least one of your kids does as well. And how can you help them learn how to regulate when you don't even know how to regulate? I want you to know how to do this. How do you stay calm? How do you stay present, I want you to walk away, knowing who you are reconnecting with yourself, building the trust that you have within yourself. Like, to me this is one of the biggest problems with ADHD in those of us who were socialized as women is that we don't trust ourselves. We don't trust our decisions. This negative Narrator runs rampant in our brains. And we don't even realize that we're the ones perpetuating it, constantly reminding ourselves how we mess up and how we screwed up this, how could you possibly do that you're such a mess, bah, bah, like all that. All that stuff going on in your brain all the time. It doesn't have to live there. You don't have to let those thoughts hang out in your head rent free, you can learn how to rewrite them so that you feel like you've really conquered confidence that you can throw away the imposter syndrome or the negative Narrator who's telling you that you're junk and learn to trust yourself again, or maybe for the first time, all of these link back to emotional regulation. In staying calm, feeling sturdy, and who you are one of my one on one clients there, they told me I magic, because now she knows how to trust herself. She's so much more confident, so much more sturdy in the way that she views herself, the way she views her decisions, the way that she parents, the way that she just interacts in life in general, that is my ADHD superpower is to look into you find what you need to see and hear about yourself, and hold up a mirror and reflect it back to you. I don't create it, my magic is getting you to see it to see what's already there. And to be able to do that in person with multiple of you the same time to blow up your confidence. Like how lucky am I that this is my job, I get to do it every day to show you what's wonderful about you, to help you see your gifts to help you trust your decisions and believe in yourself. Like don't get me wrong. I love teaching you all the strategies to and how to be productive and how to actually keep up with your you know, your calendars and your To Do lists and all that stuff. But the real magic is when you can believe you can do it. Because I can teach you strategies all day long. But if you don't believe in yourself, it's going to take a whole lot longer to see a change than when you know you can do it because you can I have yet to have a client or anyone in my membership. Anyone that I've worked with at all to not see a change. It's in their work in about this, perhaps you don't see it yet. And I want to help you see it. I want you to be able to see your magic, whatever that is in you. Because that is why mama J said that her husband was like you come home a whole new woman. Because she saw her magic again. She reconnected with who she was took some time for herself and remembered who she was who she is. This retreat encompasses the three steps that I always tell you, one, learn about your brain to put on your oxygen mask first and three, ask for help. So just in case you aren't sure this is your official invitation, I would love to meet you in person in October. If you have questions about anything, just shoot me a note you can send me an email, you can message me on Instagram posted in our Facebook group ask questions, because I want you to be really sure that it feels good and that this is for you. But I don't want you to doubt whether or not you're included in this because you are told when she's caught up in analysis paralysis, or self doubt or not trusting your decision on this. I want you to know for sure yeah, this is for me and it's going to be awesome. Because it is it's time to go get your ticket. The second annual successful as a mother luxury retreat and conference weekend for ADHD moms is October 6 through eighth in Houston, Texas. Early Bird tickets are available today officially come grab one. Now early bird tickets will be available until the end of May. So you have time to make your plans, figure out your childcare planning, booking tickets, whatever you need to do to prep the grab your ticket before the end of May so that you get the early bird pricing and so far, there's already five moms signed up because I did open it to my community first. I always give the moms who are already part of one of my coaching groups or in successful woman meetups I always give you first dibs so there's already five moms signed up and you got until May 31 to grab your early bird ticket. Now you're welcome to sign up on June 1 But it will no longer be early bird pricing of course, and at the time I'm recording this
Patricia Sung 20:00
There are a couple of VIP social hours still available. Now the VIP social hour is the option to come join me for a really small group of moms either an hour before the retreat starts or an hour after the retreat is over. So either Friday afternoon from four to 5pm We'll have some snacks and hang out together or Sunday morning breakfast, we'll have a little a light breakfast Texas style and hang out either to kick off the retreat or to wrap up your retreat with just a handful of us to have some sweet time together. Now I don't know if they're these will still be available by the time this episode airs because this is I'm recording this about a week ahead of time. So when you sign up and you buy your ticket, if it's still available, it will pop up after you check out if you want to join one of those again no pressure this is for the mamas who really love that small group one at one time. Like if you thrive in those small groups like this, this is for you. Or if you just really want to help me Come on Come hang out with our either before or after. This is going to be a weekend full of beautiful community and I cannot wait to hang out with you in real life. So head over to my website and officially grab your ticket for the early bird registration at https://www.patriciasung.com/adhd-mom-retreat again that's https://www.patriciasung.com/adhd-mom-retreat and I cannot wait to hang out for more importantly, I can't wait for you to take a break and for you to feel supported. And for you to learn about your brain in a way that makes sense for you. We're going to have a fabulous weekend. So mark it on your calendar October 6 through eighth and I'll see you in Houston.
Patricia Sung 21:48
For more resources, classes and community head over to my website motherhood in adhd.com