Quick Tricks to Organize and Reduce Doom Piles: Your Questions Answered #281
Click the triangle to play this episode or scroll down to read:
“How do I reduce the number of doom boxes, doom drawers, and doom cupboards in my life?” –Mama T asks.
Doom piles are the junk spots for things you don't know how to categorize or put away, so the junk just lives in the pile for months or years, as you shuffle it from one area to another until you get fed up!
If your doom drawers, doom boxes, and mystery piles are quietly multiplying around the house, you are definitely not alone. In this episode of Your Questions Answered, I’m sharing a practical and compassionate approach to dealing with clutter when your ADHD brain gets stuck in overwhelm and decision fatigue.
Instead of seeing doom piles as proof that you’re failing, I’m reframing them for what they really are: unmade decisions. And honestly, that shift alone can take a little weight off your shoulders.
Let’s walk through my simple system for sorting doom piles into categories like things that already have a home, things that need action, and things you genuinely don’t know what to do with yet. You’ll hear real-life examples from my own home, encouragement to stop expecting perfection, and permission to create systems that actually fit your life instead of fighting against your brain.
Plus, some “doom spaces” might actually deserve to exist permanently, so let’s talk about why, and how having a plan removes so much of the guilt and shame tied to clutter.
This episode hopefully feels like sitting with a friend who gently helps you sort through the chaos one basket at a time.
Links mentioned in this episode:
Christen Fackler’s organizing method of cousins, coworkers, and family: http://www.iorganizeeverything.com/about-us.html
It’s time to take care of you, mama.
A whole weekend for you to relax and get away from all your weighty responsibilities, to understand your ADHD mind in community with moms who get it.
Picture it: You, me, and 13 other ADHD mamas hanging out all weekend with plenty of acres and your very own adorable tiny home for you to enjoy the peace and quiet, too. Time to relax!
Get your ticket now for the 5th annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat on October 16-18, 2026, and I’ll take care of everything once you arrive! https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat
Patricia Sung [00:00:02]:
Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy? You can't figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home or your family. I get you, Mama. Parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fitness for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life. Creatively, lovingly and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully and in turn lead our families well. At the end of the day, we just want to be good moms.
Patricia Sung [00:00:47]:
But spoiler alert, you are already a great moment. ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess, Mama. You can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story and I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to Motherhood in ADHD.
Patricia Sung [00:01:08]:
Hey there successful mama, it's your friend Patricia Sung. It is time for our review of the week. Now, if you have not reviewed the podcast, please go in there and hopefully hit five stars and let me know
Patricia Sung [00:01:17]:
what you think so that I can
Patricia Sung [00:01:18]:
read your review on the next episode. Today's review is from Mad Mama McCann. Five stars. Entitled wow. At 51, five non biological children, three have ADHD and I just discovered last
Patricia Sung [00:01:32]:
week that I also have ADD.
Patricia Sung [00:01:34]:
After struggling with my kids for 10 years. Anxiety, depression has been my ruler for 6 of those years. I described to my therapist my brain tornado and word vomit issues. And finally I have hope. I searched and found you. Oh Mama McCann, I am so glad that you are here.
Patricia Sung [00:01:49]:
Thank you so much for your encouragement
Patricia Sung [00:01:52]:
and I hope you will share the podcast with a friend who could use the encouragement as well. Today's question comes from you.
Patricia Sung [00:01:58]:
Mama T asks, how do I reduce the number of doom boxes and drawers and cupboards in my life? Woo.
Patricia Sung [00:02:05]:
You know I love a doom pile. Not gonna lie, but we can't have less of them piled up.
Patricia Sung [00:02:11]:
We can get there. So what's helped me a lot in this is understanding that doom piles are basically unmade decisions. It's something that I don't know what to do with it. I didn't have the capacity. I wasn't sure how to proceed. And so like these things pile up, this unmade decision pile grows and we do put them all in. Like there's like one spot, they all collect there, but then they don't get addressed because we're not sure what to do or how to proceed. So this idea of, like, understanding that this is all, like, unmade decisions allows me to be like, okay, I'm gonna attack this when I have capacity to make decisions, because it's gonna be a bunch of decisions at once.
Patricia Sung [00:02:44]:
And also understanding that, like, there's always going to be unmade decisions in your house. There's always gonna be things that you're not sure what to do with or, like, you know, and kids bring stuff in the house all the time. Like, things are always going to exist in this temporary space of, like, I don't know what to do with this, or I'm not sure where this goes. And just knowing that, like, the doom pile doesn't have to be gone. What you need is a system that works for you to deal with these things that come in and you don't know where they go or what to. So the goal here isn't to have no doom piles. The goal is to have a system of how this is gonna work, because it's always gonna be there. Now you can decide to condense them down and to have, like, is there one doom spot? Is there one doom spot per room or one cabinet? Like, is there one per.
Patricia Sung [00:03:27]:
Like, if you have like, an upstairs and downstairs, is there one per floor? Like, you can figure out, like, what makes sense for you, because you don't want it to be a nuisance to add things to the pile. Cause then you're just gonna create another pile nearby if the pile is not close enough to get to. So just. Just knowing, like, this pile is going to accumulate here and I'm making the decision to put it in this specific place that is not going to annoy me or at least annoy me less. I also have the rule that, like, things can only go in the doom pile if they don't have to be dealt with immediately. Like, if there's something emergency like this needs to be dealt with today or tomorrow, or like, maybe yesterday. Like, it can't go in the doom pile because the doom pile only gets dealt with every few weeks or maybe months. And so anything of urgent time cannot go to the doom pile.
Patricia Sung [00:04:09]:
You can even have just a section of your doom pile. But, like, it has to be in my view or else it will just get lost in the shuffle and never accomplished. So when I look at my doom pile, generally speaking, the things that are in the doom piles are things that are not in their home. Like, you know where this goes, but it just hasn't gotten there. Yet two, it's things that need actions. So, like, something has to be done about them and then you can, like, move on with it. But it's something has to happen. So.
Patricia Sung [00:04:33]:
And the items that, like, need actions, I divide them up in the piles of, like, things that happen at home. Like, so, like, say I need to, like, renew my driver's license. Like, the paper that they sent me. That action is an at home action. I can do that at home. I also have a pile for, like, they need an action, but I have to go out and about. Like, maybe there's like this shirt I was going to give to a friend because, you know, my kid outgrew it, or I need to donate this stuff, or I need to return this thing I borrowed from my friend, or I need to return this thing to ups. Like, you'd have to go out of the house to complete this action.
Patricia Sung [00:05:04]:
And then there's that, like, action ASAP pile. And then the other category of things in here are just the things that I just don't know what to do with. They don't have a home. I'm not sure where this is going. I don't know what to do with this thing. So generally speaking, all the doom pile items fall in one of these categories. Now if you think of a category that I didn't mention, please tell me I want to know. But in my head, when I think about my doom piles, it's pretty much these three categories.
Patricia Sung [00:05:25]:
It's just not where it's supposed to be. It needs an action. Or I just don't know where it goes. It doesn't have a home. So. So when I'm organizing the doom pile or condensing the doom piles down, and I got this big old mess, I start by dividing it up. So I grab the laundry baskets and I tape a scrap piece of paper there that says, like, put in its home action in the house action out of the house emergency. And I don't know what to do with this.
Patricia Sung [00:05:48]:
Those are my piles or my baskets or whatever. And then I sort everything into the piles. So that's one set of decisions. But at least it's like, now I know what to do with these things. And then you can decide from there. Like, well, how much more capacity do you have? How much time do you have? Like, if your kids are about to come home from school, Like, I only have a couple minutes to finish this podcast. Like, then you may not deal with these things here, and that's fine. Like, you don't have to deal with them.
Patricia Sung [00:06:11]:
In the moment, but at least you have them sorted. And the goal here is to be like, well, when am I gonna deal with this thing? Like, this stuff that needs to be done in the house. Like, if it's a whole basket of things that need to be done in the house, it's a lot easier to be like, well, here, I'll just knock one of these out while I'm waiting for the kids to do homework. Or I can do this on my phone. So I'll do it while I'm waiting for taekwondo practice to be done. Like, it's easier to deal with everything when it's in that category. So I was just deciding, like, when are you gonna do with all these baskets of stuff? It doesn't have to be the same day, but, like, what do you have capacity for? And then if I have capacity to do with one basket, okay, I'll put all this stuff away that I know has a home. It's just not in his home.
Patricia Sung [00:06:46]:
Or, okay, I'm gonna sit down and fill out a few of these papers online. Or here's these six things in here that I need to leave the house for. When am I going to that part of town? I'll just write a note to myself of like, I have an appointment over in. In the Heights and I can take this thing with me that goes there. Like, it allows you to have a plan for where the things are going soon. And then you're really just left with the stuff where you're like, I don't know what to do with this.
Patricia Sung [00:07:12]:
It's time to be who you are, unapologetically. No more contorting or shrinking yourself to fit inside the box. Instead, you're going to feel the freedom of just being yourself because you are more accepting of who you truly are. You're invited, Mama, to this year's Successful as a Mother weekend retreat. It is time to relax, unwind, rest, and take care of a very important person in the family, which is you. This year's retreat is on October 16th through 18th, and you are invited. This is an all inclusive retreat. It covers your meals, your hotel, all of your activities.
Patricia Sung [00:07:48]:
You literally only have to show up, and I will take it from there. We are staying at the peaceful, Happy Goat Retreat just outside of Houston, Texas. I have rented the entire property so we have it all to ourselves, where we will enjoy nature and breathe deep in the fresh air and the calm of the lake and the sway of the trees. But this is not camping. This is glamping. You will stay in your very own adorable, modern, tiny home with your own comfy queen size bed, your own private bathroom and living space. That's two just for you. Go check out the pictures I posted on my website because it is so cute.
Patricia Sung [00:08:24]:
We will spend the weekend learning about our ADHD and tune into who you are and what you need so that you can trust your gut and love yourself a little bit more. All while eating delicious food you didn't cook, you didn't clean up and hanging out with awesome other ADHD mamas who are just like you in this journey of understanding ADHD and also trying to do all the things. But not this weekend. This weekend you are doing none of the things. You are relaxing. I will take care of everything and you get to focus on you. Head over to my website patriciasung.com/retreat and get your ticket. This is a small group of 14 mamas and we already have a bunch of mamas going.
Patricia Sung [00:09:03]:
So I don't have a ton of spots left. This means do not wait, do not
Patricia Sung [00:09:08]:
procrastinate when you hear this.
Patricia Sung [00:09:10]:
This is your sign. Go sign up, get your ticket and by signing up now you number one have access to the shrinking payment plan before it's gone.
Patricia Sung [00:09:20]:
There's no extra charges for that.
Patricia Sung [00:09:22]:
And number two, you get to pick the type of tiny home that you want to stay in before they are all gone. So go sign up, get your ticket and take a weekend to relax and take care of yourself while I do all the work. Head over to patriciasung.com/retreat and get your ticket for the ADHD Mom's Amazing Getaway Weekend and relax. Patriciasung.com/retreat.
Patricia Sung [00:09:47]:
Now when you get to the stuff, like I don't know what to do with this. Leave that pile for a day that you have capacity because again, more decisions have to be made and some of these things may just live in the doom area. Like I was talking about this with a client the other day and she has the doom cabinet and she decided that like in the doom cabinet some of these things are just gonna live here. So like she has a clear plastic container of all the random charging cords and like iPad cord, like a cord, anything, it's there because they get stranded about the house. So it's like if you need a cord, put it here. If you don't know where the cord is, come here. Maybe it's here. Like just the cords just live here.
Patricia Sung [00:10:20]:
And like she has a container of like mail stuff I guess with like some envelopes, stamps, Sharpies, packing tape, like, because it just makes sense for those things to live in that doom cabinet. So some of them can live in the doom cabinet. That's okay. But really, it's like, that you made the decision of, like, this is what we do with random cords. This is what we do with the packing things. We need to be by the door. Because if I'm mailing a package, I'm gotta leave the house to mail it. Like, knowing that this system is to collect all of the random things and knowing, like, that's okay, that's the plan.
Patricia Sung [00:10:52]:
And then the next decision is like, well, when am I going to deal with this? Am I going to deal with it when I can, like, no longer close the door? There's two. I can't shut the door. So now I got to do something about it. Like, do you want to deal with it, like, in the part of your cycle where you just tend to rage clean and then you don't feel bad about getting rid of stuff that, like, you might have felt bad about getting rid of two weeks ago? Like, did you just want to be like, okay, on Tuesdays, when I'm waiting for kids to do homework, I'm just going to, like, pull out all the things that need need to go out of the house. Like, you can have whatever plan you want. It's just a matter of, like, what makes sense for you. But, like, you know, like, eventually this is going to get dealt with. Because I think really, like, the struggle with the doom cabinet is like, one, it's a lot of mental capacity to make all these decisions because it is a pile of unmade decisions.
Patricia Sung [00:11:33]:
And the other half is like, well, there's all this guilt and shame for having things that haven't been dealt with. So, like, if you just know this is the place where things go when I don't know what to do with them, and then you can attack them when you have the capacity. Then it doesn't feel like an abandoned problem. It's like, I have a plan. I'm gonna deal with this. Whenever I can't shut the door, then I gotta clean it out. And you know what the categories are, so it's much easier to tackle. Like, you can get 80% of the stuff organized fairly quickly as you keep this up.
Patricia Sung [00:12:00]:
Like, maybe day one doesn't feel very quickly, but, like, as you keep up the doom pile, 80% of the stuff, you know where it's gonna go. It's just these, like, weird, lingering things. Like, for example, in my doom pile right now, one Thing I don't know where it's gonna go is my kids got a Polaroid camera for Christmas and it's still in this Doom basket. I'm like, well, I don where this goes. Like, should I put it with my camera? But they're not gonna. Like, it's not where they can get to it. It's like, no, I need to find a place where they can get to it. And I'm looking at, like, we have like a craft area.
Patricia Sung [00:12:24]:
But like, they really don't use that stuff anymore now that they're a little bit older. Like, this is one of the times where, like, I'm sad about being a boy mom because my kids are not that into crafty things. I really like crafty things. And maybe if I had a girl, they'd be more crafty, maybe they wouldn't.
Patricia Sung [00:12:36]:
Maybe I'm being too gender stereotypical.
Patricia Sung [00:12:39]:
But my kids are not crafty. So they're more like Lego builders or like Kiwi crates.
Patricia Sung [00:12:44]:
Like, they're not crunch labs.
Patricia Sung [00:12:47]:
They like those kind of activities. And I'm like, let's craft time. But that's not their thing. And so, like, we have all these, like, coloring books and stuff that are still in there and piles of stickers. Like, so then my brain's like, well, I can't put the Polaroid camera in the activity box until I clean this out. It's like, that's how you end up with this. Like, here's 43 decisions that have to get made to deal with where do I put this Polaroid camera? And that's okay. If the 20% items just sit there for a while.
Patricia Sung [00:13:10]:
Even if they sit till the next time you deal with the Doom closet, it's fine. Because, like, I looked at that. I'm like, I don't know where this goes, but that's okay. Like, I know where it is. And like, if they want to play with it, I can say, oh, it's in the Doom cabinet. But, like, I don't feel bad about that because I know that I need to deal with the kids craft stuff that they're not really using anymore and, like, move it over to their desk area and get rid of the things that we're not going to use. But, like, that's a different project. And then I can go back here and be like, okay, now the Polaroid can go into their desk area.
Patricia Sung [00:13:37]:
That's not a today problem. But I don't feel guilty about it because I know that the Polaroid camera will get dealt with whenever this next thing happens. So this is really about having a plan for the doom pile instead of it just being doom and die. But it's not even like so much the doom anymore because, like, you know what you're going to do with it. It's doable doom. Can I, can I, can I batten that one? Doable doom? Like, it'll get done. You have a plan. And it's not because you're a horrible person.
Patricia Sung [00:14:01]:
But, like, as a mom, you're always going to have more junk coming into your house, more birthday party favors, random sticks that kids bring in. Like, there's always going to be more stuff coming in. And it is okay that sometimes things go in the doom pile as long as you know, hey, I have a plan for that. Whatever your plan is. But it's not forgotten. It does. There's not this angst about, like, oh, my gosh, this is a symbol of my failure as a person to be organized. You can have a plan that fits your brain.
Patricia Sung [00:14:28]:
Okay, man, I gotta.
Patricia Sung [00:14:29]:
I gotta go pick up some kids. So, my dear, have a lovely day and I will talk to you soon, Successful Mama. Good luck on the doom cabinet, drawer, cupboard, whatever you want to call it. Pile. You can do this.
Patricia Sung [00:14:40]:
I'll talk to you soon, Successful Mama.
Patricia Sung [00:14:42]:
For more resources, classes and community, head over to my website, motherhoodinadhd.com.