Managing Your Daily Energy Levels as a Mom with ADHD with Guest Host JoAnn Crohn - Best Of Friends Series #273
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Do you feel like you're already running on fumes – and it’s barely breakfast time? You’re not alone.
In this conversation from the Happy Mom Summit, I talk with JoAnn Crohn of the No Guilt Mom Podcast about what really drains our energy as ADHD moms – and how to recharge in realistic, doable ways. Spoiler alert: it’s not about naps and bubble baths (unless you love those). It’s about understanding your own patterns, recognizing the difference between physical, mental, and emotional energy, and creating a rhythm that actually works for your brain.
We also dig into how ADHD makes energy management trickier, why asking for help feels so hard (but matters so much), and how to tell the difference between when you need to push through… and when you need to rest.
Plus, I share more about my Energy Recharge Workshop, and why it's one of my favorite ways to help you find your spark again.
This episode is your permission slip to stop chasing those unicorn days, and start making peace with what realistically works for you. You are not a robot. Let’s give ourselves some grace.
Thank you to JoAnn for sharing this conversation! Listen to the No Guilt Mom Podcast here or on your favorite podcast app: https://www.noguiltmom.com/
Yes, I’m still writing the first book for Moms with ADHD, publishing February 2027. Keep up to date on all things book writing and/or join the beta reader team here: patriciasung.com/book
lINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Get the ADHD Energy Recharge Workshop: patriciasung.com/energy
You’re not alone.
“This is a chance to invest in yourself and build a community that will empower your future. Worth it!” –ADHD Mama D.B.
Our annual all-inclusive ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat is coming up October 10-12, 2025 just outside of Houston, Texas! And we hope you’re coming, too!
I’ll take care of all the details - you simply show up and enjoy.
Having a circle of moms who support you and believe in you matters. Reserve your all-inclusive ticket here: patriciasung.com/retreat
Ticket sales close 9/18/25 or when the last ticket is sold.
Patricia Sung [00:00:00]:
How can we begin to set up our expectations in a realistic way that actually fits with how we function and who we are and what stage of life we're in?
Patricia Sung [00:00:09]:
Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy? You can't figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family? I get you, Mama. Parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest worthy visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life. Creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully and in turn, lead our families well. At the end of the day, we just want to be good moms. But spoiler alert, you are already a great mom.
Patricia Sung [00:01:00]:
ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess, Mama. You can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story, and I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to Motherhood in ADHD. Hey there, successful mama. It's your friend, Patricia Sung. I am still over here trucking along on this book and making better time than I thought, given all of the craziness that has gone on in our lives the last couple months. I'm really proud of myself for creating the space to be able to handle all of these weird things that have popped up because old Patricia stuffed her schedule to the gills and there's no way I could have done all this running my life the way I used to because, mind you, I also am getting all the stuff ready for the retreat that's happening in October. And oh yeah, I should tell you, like, if you want to get your ticket, make sure that you get your ticket in September, because the deadline to get your ticket is in the third week of September.
Patricia Sung [00:02:01]:
So Chap chat mama, we only have a couple tickets left, so make sure you grab yours before the deadline. Now, I'm not gonna lie, I have been feeling the heat, which means I am purposefully scheduling breaks in and spending time with friends and being super purposeful in how I spend my time because otherwise I would absolutely go insane. This has been a lot, but it also makes me really thankful because I have a job that I get to choose my hours and that I can work when my kids are in school. And it also allows me to still write this book. And I'm just feeling really Lucky, even in the chaos, that I'm able to take all of this stuff in my brain and put it on a page and. And be able to share it with hopefully millions of moms. Just like millions of moms have listened to this podcast, hopefully millions of moms are going to read the book. But this is certainly not for the faint of heart.
Patricia Sung [00:02:57]:
Because once you start stepping into who you really are and listening to yourself and learning how to trust yourself and becoming the person that God created you to be, let me tell you, that's when Satan shows up and makes things really hard. Because whenever you are walking the path that you are meant to walk, he's gonna do whatever he can to get you off track. And it has been a constant reminder to myself, like, if this many, like, almost comical things are going wrong, clearly I'm on the right track because I know that this is what I'm meant to be doing right now. And it's clearly irking Satan a whole lot because he's tearing up a lot of trouble.
Patricia Sung [00:03:38]:
I won't go all the nitty gritty.
Patricia Sung [00:03:40]:
Details here, but if you're on my email list, you've been hearing about it. Cause ha ha ha, I'm holding it together through purposefulness, through rest, through self care, through breaks, through my friends, through my family, through support, through using all the strategies that I'm gonna write about or have written about in this book. That's what's holding everything together right now.
Patricia Sung [00:04:01]:
And it will get done.
Patricia Sung [00:04:02]:
So this next set of episodes are what I call the Best of Friends series, where I am asking friends who I have spoke on their podcast or at one of their events or at.
Patricia Sung [00:04:13]:
One of their summits or in their communities. And taking that recording and then sharing.
Patricia Sung [00:04:17]:
It with you so is something that is not something that I created for my community. It's something that I created for someone else's community. But I want to share it with you because the reason I was talking to their community is because they're our friends. They're our people. They get us. So thank you to those hosts who are sharing these recordings with me so that I can share them with you and keep on trucking on this book. This episode here is from the Happy Mom Summit that I did earlier this year. And the Happy Mom Summit is hosted by JoAnn Crohn and Bree Tucker, who.
Patricia Sung [00:04:50]:
Who are the wonderful moms who are also the hosts of the no Guilt mom podcast. So this is a big topic that is in my book that I'm working on right now, and I want to Share it with you. And I want to know if there are other things you want to know about dealing with your energy levels and all, please send me an email, send me a note on Instagram, Let me know your thoughts on what you want to hear or think like thoughts you have. Send them to me because I want to know what you need to hear most. So let's dive into this conversation about managing your daily energy levels with the awesome moms at the Happy Mom Summit, slash. Also, no Guilt mom podcast. I will put a link in the show notes so that you can go look them up too.
JoAnn Crohn [00:05:33]:
Do you feel overstimulated and worn out at the end of the day? If you have adhd, that has a huge impact on how much you're able to tolerate. And in this presentation, you're going to learn steps that you can take to manage your daily energy level. So, hey, I'm JoAnn Crohn. I'm your host of the Happy Mom Summit, and I am so excited to introduce you to the amazing Patricia Sung. Patricia is an ADHD coach for moms who have ADHD themselves. She supports mamas worldwide through her top five parenting podcast with 1 million plus downloads, Motherhood in ADHD. Her ADHD coaching focuses on ending burnout and building systems you actually like, which is really important to make ADHD motherhood easier. Welcome, Patricia.
Patricia Sung [00:06:20]:
Thanks so much for having me.
JoAnn Crohn [00:06:21]:
I love this topic. I'm so excited to dig into it with you because I have ADHD myself, and as we were talking right before here, like, right now, I can't find my phone. I can't find, like, my red lipstick I usually wear. Like, everything is scattered. And I'm. I'm blaming the ADHD on this and the tiredness as well. So I know that many moms out there are like, we all know that moms are tired. But, like, why are we so tired? Like, what is your view of this?
Patricia Sung [00:06:48]:
I mean, I mean, part of me is like, oh, the whole state of the world is what we're doing. But, like, there's so many layers to parenting. It's not just doing the tasks. It's not just, like, making sure your kid has stuff. There's all these pieces to it that come together and they layer on top of each other, on top of each other, on top of each other. And when we look at energy as just a physical thing, like, if, you know, do I have the physical energy to actually clean my house today, then we are only looking at one part of it. But our energy is actually has, like, lots of different types to it. Like, it's not just the physical energy of, can I physically walk around and carry all these things, but there's also, like, the mental energy of making decisions.
Patricia Sung [00:07:29]:
And I think that's a lot of times where we get burnt out. Cleaning our house is. All of a sudden we have to make all these decisions of, like, well, where does this go? Where should I put this? There's a lot of mental energy involved. And then you also have, like, the spiritual energy or the emotional energy. Like, that has to do with, like, how things are emotionally charged for you. So having a discussion around your kids, having an issue at school can be very emotionally charged and has no physical energy. You're not actually, like, carrying anything, but there's still emotional energy that goes into it. So when we look at all these different pieces of motherhood, all of a sudden you can see, oh, man, it's not just one kind of energy we're using as parents.
Patricia Sung [00:08:09]:
We use so many different types of energy in order to get things done and do what's best for our kids.
JoAnn Crohn [00:08:16]:
Yeah. I swear, that emotional energy, it's the one that gets me every single time. How does ADHD play to all of that?
Patricia Sung [00:08:24]:
Well, obviously, it's a neurological condition. Some people use the word disorder, and depending on how you feel about it, you may feel like it's a disorder, and some people feel it like it's less of a disorder, but it is a function of your inattention or attention on things. And a lot of times it just kind of stops there. But really, the underlying part of ADHD is your executive functioning and your ability to control your emotions. And all of that is so much more than just, I can't find my keys or where did I put my phone or where's my lipstick? It's also the emotional part of it of like, oh, my gosh, how did I lose this lipstick again? And there's so much more. It's like. It's kind of like the tip of the iceberg where it's, yeah, obviously I wish I hadn't lost the lipstick. But when we start beating ourselves up and then we get the shame involved of, like, how could you possibly lose this again? You said you're going to put it in the same place and it's not there.
Patricia Sung [00:09:16]:
Or you've already bought four of these, you can't afford to buy a fifth one. And so all these other things come with it that we don't talk about as much. So when it comes to adhd, and we struggle with regulating our emotions or Keeping up on all these different layers of executive function. And executive function, like, the really simple ways, like, the conductor of your brain who's saying, like, okay, violins, you come in and, okay, woodwinds, shh. Not your turn. Like that person that's keeping everything going. You have an executive functioner in your brain who is telling which pieces of your brain to do what. And a lot of times with adhd, we struggle with who's supposed to be doing stuff when.
Patricia Sung [00:09:53]:
And then we get overwhelmed. I.
JoAnn Crohn [00:09:54]:
Like, that's such a good metaphor. I just had to comment on the metaphor. Yeah.
Patricia Sung [00:09:58]:
Thank you. So when you have adhd, it's not just the usual things of parenting are already hard. Like, all parents are struggling to keep up with everything. But when your conductor is struggling to keep up with who's supposed to be doing what, there's a whole nother layer that comes in, and then it's really overwhelming.
JoAnn Crohn [00:10:14]:
Oh, my gosh. I can think of so many instances just yesterday in my life where my conductor was struggling with all the things, especially in regulating the emotions. And I could see how that is now affecting how overwhelmed I get. Like, I love that explanation. What's a common mistake that some moms with ADHD that they make when it comes to handling their daily energy levels?
Patricia Sung [00:10:40]:
I think. I mean, part of it is what I just mentioned about how there's these different layers. And a lot of times when we think of energy, we just think of whether or not I physically can complete this. And there's so much more to it of, do I have the capacity to decide all those things? It's just like when you get to the end of the day and it's time to make dinner, and it's like 5:07, and you're like, ooh, I don't know what to make for dinner. I don't know if I have the ingredients. I don't think I have the energy to stand here and actually do the cooking. And then I also don't have the mental energy to, like, read this recipe and try to keep up with all the things and hopefully not burn something. I don't have the emotional energy to pay attention to this food and also tell my kid how to do algebra problems at the same time.
Patricia Sung [00:11:19]:
Like, when we don't consider the full spectrum of energy, we start to beat ourselves up thinking, like, well, why can't you just make dinner? It's not that hard. Just make the pasta.
JoAnn Crohn [00:11:29]:
Yeah, yeah.
Patricia Sung [00:11:30]:
The beautiful thing.
JoAnn Crohn [00:11:32]:
Such a. Such a big thing. I think I've been in a situation where like, you hear all the advice online, and they're like, oh, well, just change it from, like, you don't have to make dinner. You get to make dinner. I'm like, no, that's not even the thing right now. And what you're describing is, like, you're like, no, I just don't have the mental energy and the emotional energy to do it. I feel so validated by you right now, Patricia.
Patricia Sung [00:11:56]:
You're welcome.
Patricia Sung [00:11:56]:
That's my job. So, like, I think that's one of the big mistakes we make, is we don't give ourselves credit. I think for all of the energy that we are using. And that dinner isn't just stand there and put the pasta in the pot. It's all the other things that we're juggling after probably already an exhausting day, and giving ourselves the grace to know, like, oh, like, is this actually feasible? Can I actually make dinner and do algebra and not burn something? And that's why we end up, like, you know what? Fine. We're just gonna go grab fast food. And then we feel bad about ourselves because the ingredients are now rotting in our vegetable drawer. And we should have fed our kids more vegetables, but.
Patricia Sung [00:12:39]:
And all these pieces come in. And I think the other mistake we made, we have these aspirations of, like, a unicorn day, because there was, like, that one time three years ago where you did everything on your to do list, and you showed up like the mom you wanted to be, and you also worked on a craft project. I mean, like, we think that we're supposed to have these unicorn days frequently, and that's not how we were designed to be. Like, we're not robots. We're not meant to do the same thing every day. Yet we expect ourselves to be level 100 excellence more often than so if we're always expecting ourselves to be way up here. But yet the expectation came in midway or even, like, almost at the top, but it didn't quite get there. Then we're setting ourselves up for disappointment because we somehow didn't have that one unicorn day we had, you know, on March 37, 2005.
Patricia Sung [00:13:29]:
It's not going to happen. So how can we begin to set up our expectations in a realistic way that actually fits with how we function and who we are and what stage of life we're in? So that, yes, we do want to get the things done, and we have to, as parents. We don't have the option to, like, well, I just won't do that. No, like, the permission slip still needs to be turned in lunch still needs to be made. So how can we get these things done, completed, but in a way that makes sense for us so that we're not teetering on the edge of burnout 24 7.
JoAnn Crohn [00:13:58]:
Yeah. So like with all of these things, with all these things that we need to do, like, how do we actually work with what we have? Like you said, dinner needs to be made. How does it happen?
Patricia Sung [00:14:09]:
We want to start looking for the patterns in what makes sense for you. So for some of us, like if we're thinking about dinner, if our current pattern is realizing it's already after 5 o' clock and we don't have dinner, a plan, and we don't have groceries and we don't have the oomphin or system to do all of those steps, this is not working. So how do we do this differently when we think about, you know, sticking with this example of making dinner? Making dinner is many different steps and it's many different functions. There's the deciding of like what we're going to make. There's the planning of menus, there's making the list of all the ingredients, there's the actual following the instructions of the recipe. It's multiple steps and multiple different kinds of thinking that we have to do in order to execute this. So is there a way to make this easier for you? Are you a morning person? Can we think about those things in the morning when your brain is working? Well, if you're not a morning person, that's not the time for you. So we don't have blanket advice here of like, well, everyone should plan their dinner at 8:07am it's not that, it's how do you make it easier for you? I get annoyed at a lot of the meal planning advice because it's surface level.
Patricia Sung [00:15:13]:
But the good part about meal planning is that you're taking all those decisions and making them at one time. So you're making the planning and the grocery list and, you know, checking the pantry, all that planning kind of organization, organizing stuff. You're doing it one time, so you're not trying to do 37 different kinds of mental tasks when the sun is setting and your brain is tired and your kids are already getting grumpy and hungry. In my house, we called hangry, the people are already hangry and you don't have time to go through a full process. So how do we take all of these different processes and make them make sense with how your brain works?
JoAnn Crohn [00:15:46]:
I love that, like learning your energy patterns is so important. I've noticed, like I myself am a morning person. That's when I can think well. That's when I can relate well to other people. Because at night, like, it's like shut down. I'm like, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to do anything right now. And giving yourself permission for that is such an important thing.
JoAnn Crohn [00:16:04]:
It took me so long to give myself permission for that, knowing that I functioned at that time. Like, what are you out of curiosity? What's your energy pattern?
Patricia Sung [00:16:15]:
So I'm actually a night owl. But night owl and elementary school wake up times do not no exist well together. So I like, I'm in a season right now where I am fighting against my natural tendency. And that's part of my acceptance of this season is that I am not a morning person. But I have to be up by 6:15 at like the latest right now. I look at like, okay, my morning time is my best for really brain heavy tasks and like calculating or planning in the afternoon. I get more tired like after lunch. So those are the times where I need things that are mentally stimulating but not difficult.
Patricia Sung [00:16:56]:
So those are the times where like, it's great for me to like meet with clients because that's interesting and I love it and I'm really good at it. But like, I don't want to have to like try to plan out a podcast calendar schedule at 2 o'.
JoAnn Crohn [00:17:08]:
Clock.
Patricia Sung [00:17:08]:
Like my brain's not, not into that again. And like, that's part of motherhood too is knowing, hey, sometimes your life is not set up in the way that you want it. And yes, I wish that I could be an excellent morning person. I really wish I could have that. So how do I adjust my day knowing that like, I wish I could stay up till 1am in work, but I can't because I can't get up at 6 with that. So adjusting me as part of my like concessions on this is the way my life is in this season. And you know what? The middle school start time is way later than the elementary school.
JoAnn Crohn [00:17:42]:
There are times who I have, yeah, you're gonna have some great stuff. When your kids are like a little bit older because when they get into teen years they want to stay up late and that's when they do all their talking. And so that's kind of the stage I'm in with like being a morning person. Like it's very, very hard for me. Like my daughter wants to talk at night and it kills me and I just have to. I lay there in bed and I'M like trying to stay awake and trying to be interested. She's like, mom, aren't you interested? I'm like, yeah, I'm interested. In the meantime, like, my whole body just wants to, to go to bed and go to sleep.
Patricia Sung [00:18:13]:
Yeah.
JoAnn Crohn [00:18:13]:
So I, I feel you there with the, with the fighting against your schedule.
Patricia Sung [00:18:21]:
It's time to be who you are unapologetically. No more contorting or shrinking yourself to fit inside the box. Instead, you're going to feel the freedom of just being yourself because you are more accepting of who you truly are. You're invited Mama, to this year's flower 4th annual successful as a Mother Weekend Retreat. It is time to relax, unwind, rest and take care of a very important person in the family, which is you. This year's retreat is on October 10th, 12th, 2025 and you are invited. This is an all inclusive retreat. It covers your meals, your hotel, all of your activities.
Patricia Sung [00:18:57]:
You literally only have to show up and I will take it from there. We are staying at the peaceful Happy Goat Retreat just outside of Houston, Texas. I have rented the entire property so we have it all to ourselves where we will enjoy nature and breathe deep in the fresh air and the calm of the lake and the sway of the trees. But this is not camping. This is glamping. You will stay in your very own adorable, modern, tiny home with your own comfy queen size bed, your own private bathroom and living space. Space that's just for you.
Patricia Sung [00:19:30]:
Go check out the pictures I posted.
Patricia Sung [00:19:31]:
On my website because it is so cute. We will spend the weekend learning about our ADHD and tune into who you are and what you need so that you can trust your gut and love yourself a little bit more. All while eating delicious food you didn't cook, you didn't clean up and hanging out with awesome other ADHD mamas who.
Patricia Sung [00:19:50]:
Are just like you in this journey.
Patricia Sung [00:19:51]:
Of understanding ADHD and also trying to.
Patricia Sung [00:19:54]:
Do a do all the things.
Patricia Sung [00:19:55]:
But not this weekend. This weekend you are doing none of the things.
Patricia Sung [00:19:58]:
You are relaxing.
Patricia Sung [00:20:00]:
I will take care of everything and you get to focus on you. Head over to my website patriciasung.com/retreat and get your ticket. This is a small group of 14 mamas and we already have a bunch of mamas going so I don't have a ton of spots left. This means do not wait, do not.
Patricia Sung [00:20:17]:
Procrastinate when you hear this.
Patricia Sung [00:20:19]:
This is your sign. Go sign up, get your ticket and take a weekend to relax and take care of yourself while I do all the work. Head over to patriciasung.com/retreat and get your ticket for the fourth annual ADHD Mom's Amazing Getaway Weekend. And relax. Patriciasung.com/retreat.
JoAnn Crohn [00:20:40]:
The other tip you have for people is about putting on your oxygen mask first. Tell us about that.
Patricia Sung [00:20:47]:
So as parents, whenever you ride on the airplane, the flight attendant always tells you to put on the oxygen mask first and then help the people around you. Because if you are unconscious, you can't help other people. Yeah, and a lot of times as moms, we're like, no, but I gotta help everybody else first. But yet, like in this very dramatic example, if you are unconscious, you are not helping anyone at all. So this is where we need to take care of ourselves first, which is counterintuitive as a mom. And our gut instinct is, let me help everyone else. Let me fix everyone else's problems. Let me jump in and solve all your things and do whatever you need before I take care of myself.
Patricia Sung [00:21:26]:
And that's actually the opposite of what we need to be doing. And it's really hard to go against the grain of what everyone else is.
Patricia Sung [00:21:33]:
Telling us and, like, be selfless.
Patricia Sung [00:21:35]:
You know, just all the, like, martyrdom that comes with motherhood and how the guilt comes if you're not doing everything for your kids first. But yet, if we can do something simple, like self care doesn't have to be this, like, intricate process. It doesn't have to be something boring or lame. It's a thing that gives you energy where you feel better after you did it. Like, you feel more energized after you complete this thing. And for some people, that's movement. For some people, that's hanging out with a friend, for some people that's doing like, a hobby or an art project or music. But even if you can infuse that in for five minutes, you then have refueled yourself to be able to get through another few hours without yelling at everybody.
JoAnn Crohn [00:22:15]:
Yeah, it's so hard too, as you said, like, to get that self care in. Because one of the things that I have a lot of trouble with is thinking, like, do I really need this, or do I just need to be tougher and try to, like, push through? I mean, that's the voice going on in my head. It's difficult to counter because it's had, like, what, 43 years of practice so far, telling me that. So I just want to let you know if you're listening right now and you're like, oh, my gosh, I don't know how to do this. Like, it's still there for both me and Patricia.
Patricia Sung [00:22:46]:
Oh, for sure. And that's. I think that's one of the hardest things, like, I wrestle with is that, like, being a very highly motivated, you know, I'm a recovering perfectionist. Like, yes, there are times where we do need to push through because that's what we have to do. And determining the difference between when it is time to push through and when it is time to rest is one of the key things that I work on with probably, honestly, almost every one of my clients. Because you have to know the difference between the two. There's not a 100% answer for either one of them. Sometimes it's right to push through and sometimes it's right to rest.
Patricia Sung [00:23:20]:
And you're the one who has to be able to determine that because you're the only one who can say, I have capacity to be able to get through this and push through and use my persistence as a power here versus no, if you don't plug in this battery, the cell phone will die, and then it doesn't work at all. So how do you know the difference? That's. I mean, I feel like almost every mom is working on trying to understand where. Where do you choose? Yeah.
JoAnn Crohn [00:23:44]:
And I don't feel that there's any real right answer for it. Like, it's just a case by case decision. And so I, like, try not to give myself too much grief if I rest or if I push through and if I'm tired. It's just all about experimentation. Your next tip for people ask for help. We get told this so often, like, like, tell us some good, good things, like, how could we do. How could we ask for help?
Patricia Sung [00:24:09]:
Asking for help is, I think, one of the hardest parts of being, of being me, for one. But for most of us, we don't want to admit that we can't do it ourselves, that we can't do it. We feel like there's something faulty with us if we can't get all the things done on our own. And yeah, what I try to go back to is like, I was not designed that way. Like, people were not created to function completely alone. Like there are, if you think about, like the animal kingdom, there are creatures that were meant to be by themselves, but that's not how people were created. People were created to work together. So asking for help is a human requirement.
Patricia Sung [00:24:42]:
Much to my dismay. I wish it wasn't.
Patricia Sung [00:24:45]:
But asking for help doesn't have to.
Patricia Sung [00:24:48]:
Look like what we sometimes build it up in our minds to be Sometimes we think, like, asking for help means, like, I have to give this giant task to somebody else. And then the spiral happens of like, well, what if they mess it up? Or what if they don't do it right? Or, you know, what's wrong with me that I can't get it done? All that, like, baggage comes along with it. So if we can start with baby steps of asking for help, which is feels weird sometimes because when we ask for little things, it's very much an inner argument of, like, I can clearly do all the little things. It's not a big ask for me to like walk this trash bag from here to there. So we feel like that's not the thing we should ask for help with because it's easy to do. And yet when we can take these little things off our plate, one, we're practicing asking for help and two, it's giving other people responsibility. And especially like when it comes to our kids, give them these little tasks that they can, like, build up their ability to be a functioning human one day. But also anytime we can take things.
Patricia Sung [00:25:44]:
Off our plates, that's a win.
Patricia Sung [00:25:46]:
So if you can take 10 little things off your plate, that could be just as impactful as if you took one big thing off your plate. But we have to get in the habit of saying, I don't have to do all the things. It's okay to ask my kid, can you run this thing over to the neighbor's house? Even though that job takes 30 seconds, it's okay for us to ask for help in little ways too. And sometimes asking for help is just like asking your friend, hey, I'm having a hard week. Can you check on me on Thursday and just see if I'm doing okay?
JoAnn Crohn [00:26:15]:
That's an interesting way to ask for help. Like, I hadn't thought of that, but it's very much needed. I mean, sometimes like, you get so in your own head and no one knows what else is going on. So just making people aware of your own, like, mental state, your own capacity and asking them to check in on you, that's a great, great tip. I'm going to use that one because I'm not doing so well right now, health wise. We were talking about earlier because I'm getting over sickness, but, like, I need to ask more for people to check in on me. I think because you're high achieving, I'm high achieving. If you're high achieving too, you get a reputation of being able to handle everything and making it look flawless when you are just struggling inside and so asking them to check on you.
JoAnn Crohn [00:26:59]:
I love that. What do you recommend for little recharges throughout the day? How can we get through the day when we're so low on energy?
Patricia Sung [00:27:07]:
A lot of times the thing we think resting means we have to go take a nap or we have to do nothing, or you have to just sit and like, stare at the wall. And most of the time, the most restful thing you can do is actually, like, an activity that involves something like, the goal of resting is to have more energy afterwards than before. And it's in preparation of what's coming. Like, a lot of times we confuse recovery and rest as different things. Like, recovering from something that was hard is different than resting to prepare for what's coming. So in this time of resting, it's what's going to give you more energy. And if you're not sure, my go to is always, what did you love to do when you were like, seven? Did you love to color? Did you love to run around outside? Did you love to play with a friend? These kinds of things are the things that are going to recharge us. So it could be grabbing the bucket of sidewalk chalk and taking your kids outside.
Patricia Sung [00:27:58]:
And everybody draws in the street or in the driveway for a little while. And most people would be like, I don't. Don't I have to get rid of my kids in order to rest? No, you don't. You can rest with them. Not always. Like, sometimes kids are not restful, let's be honest. But, like, there are ways that you can incorporate these little things that are going to recharge you that don't have to be like, oh, I have to go take a bath by myself and stare at the wall, and now I'm bored and it's too hot. That's not restful.
Patricia Sung [00:28:24]:
Then can you meet a friend for a walk and talk to them while you move? That might be restful for you. Even though you're. You're doing physical labor above walking, or you ask a friend to come over while you're cleaning out a closet, you may actually have more energy afterwards because you got to spend that quality time.
JoAnn Crohn [00:28:43]:
Somebody.
Patricia Sung [00:28:43]:
Even though normally, like, cleaning a closet is like, it's about play.
JoAnn Crohn [00:28:48]:
It's all about play. Like, how can you put that play into your life? Again, something that we don't really do as adults. Like, we don't play very much as kids.
Patricia Sung [00:28:57]:
Yeah. So what are those little things? It can be two minutes. It can be five minutes. It can be, you know, if you're really Like, I don't have time for that. Like, okay, multitask this thing. Can you, you know, get your walk in and talk to a friend at the same time? But it doesn't have to be lame and boring. It doesn't have to be a big project. It doesn't have to be.
Patricia Sung [00:29:14]:
I have to go away for three weeks in a row and recharge my whole brain. Like, no, what's the thing that you can do in 2 minutes or 10 minutes? Can you have just turn on some music and everybody have a dance party for five minutes? That can bring back energy. It's just the little things that make you happy.
JoAnn Crohn [00:29:29]:
All happiness. Yeah. It needs more. We need more of that. So after all of these great suggestions you've given Patricia and great steps to take, what is like one action step you want people to take?
Patricia Sung [00:29:45]:
After this presentation, I think the practical one I would pick is to start to look at your patterns. What are the things that you notice about you? And it can be patterns like, oh, I notice that this part of the day I feel good about doing things. This part of the day I'm like, don't talk to me. It could be patterns like, oh, if we just did a little bit of art. Everyone in my family is in a better mood. So looking at those patterns is more like the logistical task oriented takeaway. And then like the heart takeaway would be that you are not a robot. You're a complex human being who needs things.
Patricia Sung [00:30:24]:
So like, self care is not a luxury, it is a need. So what are those little things you can infuse in your day that don't feel like work that will help boost your day? So if you're a practical person, you got that one. If you're a heart person, it's that one.
JoAnn Crohn [00:30:37]:
It's funny because even like the robot metaphor, like, even robots need maintenance and self care.
Patricia Sung [00:30:42]:
So yes, you have to oil the robot.
JoAnn Crohn [00:30:44]:
You have to oil the robot. Exactly. Like even that, even that needs self care. And then, Patricia, you also have something in our happy mom VIP pass, your energy recharge workshop. Tell us all about that.
Patricia Sung [00:30:56]:
I'm like, this is one of my favorite things. And I'm like, it's such a good workshop. It is looking at one understanding as a mom with adhd, like, what does this all mean? How does it all interplay together? I give a lot of analogies and how to understand this better in talking about your energy levels and recharging. And the second part of it is working with your patterns. So diving into like, you know, if you're a morning or a night person, if you are a menstruating person, still looking at your cycle syncing and how do we create these patterns to work with you so that you're not feeling really guilty about, Oh, I made plans with my friend when I was feeling great, and now I don't feel so great today and now I just want to cancel them and that makes me a horrible friend. Like, how do we get out of those cycles so that we can set up our lives in a way that we're meeting with people when we actually want to meet with people, and we're giving ourselves time to rest when we need rest. And in that, like, extra layer of, like, how do we work with you as a person and set up your life in a way that it gives you the energy when you need it gives you time to rest when you need that and lifting all that guilt and shame that comes with why aren't I a unicorn every day?
JoAnn Crohn [00:32:05]:
Oh, why aren't I a unicorn every day? Man, that is something that. Well, thank you so much, Patricia, for joining us and giving us all of this wonderful, like, strategies and everything, information and especially permission on honoring your own energy levels and figuring out what works for you. Thank you again and we'll see you in the summit.
Patricia Sung [00:32:28]:
Thanks for having me. For more resources, classes and community, head over to my website, motherhoodinadhd.com.