Paris Hilton's ADHD Creator Summit: Sliving or Sus?: Unpopular Opinions #289
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Ever wanted an invitation to something you weren’t even sure you wanted to attend? Yep, me too.
When I saw Paris Hilton’s ADHD Creator Summit, my first thought was, “How come I didn’t get invited?” Then I realized I couldn’t have gone anyway. But I still wanted the invite, because I want to feel included.
In this episode, I’m practicing speaking boldly and sharing my unpopular opinion about the summit’s backlash. I’m talking about the sting of being left out, rejection sensitivity, and the expectations we put on other people to show up according to our values.
I wholeheartedly want more diversity and inclusion in ADHD spaces. And I’m glad someone took imperfect action to bring people together. Both things can be true.
We’ll talk about holding that both/and, speaking up for what matters, and making room for improvement without letting perfectionism stop us from starting.
Plus, I’m sharing a peek behind the scenes of recording my audiobook. Find Motherhood and ADHD: Practical Strategies to Calm the Storm in Your Home, Heart, and Mind and preorder bonuses at patriciasung.com/book. Please order your copy this month!
If you’ve ever felt left out or worried your best effort wouldn’t be good enough, come sit with me. There’s room for those feelings here.
Patricia Sung [00:00:02]:
Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy? You can't figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family. I get you, Mama. Parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest-worthy visions of organization and structure fit For everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do life: creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully and, in turn, lead our families well. At the end of the day, we just want to be good moms. But spoiler alert, you are already a great mom.
Patricia Sung [00:00:52]:
ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess mama. You can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story, and I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to Motherhood in ADHD. Hey there, Successful Mama. It's your friend Patricia Sung. I am trying something new for the next couple episodes here, and I'm hoping that it'll become a regular appearance, but I am sharing my bold and unfiltered unpopular opinions on certain topics. Which as a recovering people pleaser and a perfectionist and all, you know, just training myself to keep my opinions to myself for most of my life is quite the step outside my normal. But this is something that I'm really working on for myself this year is speaking truth and speaking boldly.
Patricia Sung [00:01:41]:
And I feel like I did that really well with the book because there was nobody there to argue with me. And so I'm putting myself out there and speaking boldly and practicing that here with you. And so this should be interesting. And keep in mind, you don't have to agree with everything I say. As I always tell my kids, if everybody in the world was the same, it'd be really boring. So it's okay if you don't agree with me, and I'm still going to practice speaking boldly my opinions. So let's jump in and see how it goes. Hey there, Successful Mama.
Patricia Sung [00:02:10]:
It's your friend Patricia Sung. Before I share my unpopular opinion today, I want to tell you about recording the audiobook. This week I am finishing up in the studio. If you're following me on Instagram, I've been posting a bunch about it. And like, it is unreal. Like, the fact that I am in a studio recording a book, a whole book that I wrote to talk to moms with ADHD and like share, you know, my problems with the world, and then all the things that you have shared with me, like, it just blows my mind. And I think this is so cool, and I am celebrating it because this was such a gift to be able to give you, and a gift for me to be able to share it. Like, how cool! I still am just like, what? This is like one of those things that you just don't ever think would happen.
Patricia Sung [00:02:55]:
And I'm really, really proud of myself. I'm proud of all of you that have shared stories with me. Like, I— it's just been so neat. Like, it's so cool. I'm like, I wish I had a better word for it. Like, it's just been awe-inspiring to do something really cool. And I gotta say, it's a lot like— it's a lot like sitting in my closet with you. Um, but, you know, with fancier equipment and a lot quieter.
Patricia Sung [00:03:19]:
Like, I don't have to worry about, like, the, you know, lawnmower in the background. But I will say it's definitely a lot more mental energy than I think I was considering. Like, if I had stopped and thought about it, I'm sure I would have realized that, but I did not. So like, the fact that I have to read word for word, I mean, that is hard because there's a lot of times where I'm like, wait, what did I say there? And like, just the, like, I would say the same thing, but like, you could say it in different ways and just like my different, like, usual patterns. But it's like I picked one usual pattern and then I realized, oh no, I just, I made that up. That's not what I wrote. So that's definitely been a lot of mental energy to like, keep exact, like literally like so precise. And the other hard part is like just keeping the energy up.
Patricia Sung [00:03:59]:
I'm doing 5 hours at a time because they open at 9 and I gotta leave by 2 to pick up my kid. And I think that was the max. I don't think I could have done a full 8 hours. Like I was tired by the end of the first day at that 5 hours. Like even I would say like the first 2 hours I was like, okay, I can do this. And then by hour 3 I was like, ooh, this is It's a lot of talking and a lot of like sustained mental effort. And then that middle part was rough. And then getting like towards the end again, it was like, oh, okay, well, I only have so much time before I got to pick up my kids.
Patricia Sung [00:04:30]:
So like chop chop, I gotta hustle and get as much done as I can. I was proud of myself that he only had to tell me one time to slow down because, you know, I talk fast. So I've been trying to speak slower in order to like enunciate and everything. And I know that y'all are just gonna hit, you know, 1.5x speed anyway, so it's cool. But for people who do have like audio processing, I want to make sure that I'm speaking at a normal human And then, you know, you can slow it down too. And it was also really crazy to be like— so we take a break every— after every chapter we like pause and like get, you know, a sip of tea. And every hour we stop for like 10 minutes and I go like walk around and stretch and refill my drink. And on the wall in there are just all of these musicians and all of these people who've recorded their audiobooks there.
Patricia Sung [00:05:11]:
And it's like I'm standing here looking at like, you know, BrenГ© Brown recorded her audiobooks there. And the musicians like Luda, Like, I grew up, like, high school and college me grew up on Ludacris, and there's like Chamillionaire and just all these people that I've listened to my whole life. And then like for them to be like, I'm standing in the same building that they recorded stuff in, like, that's just crazy. It's crazy. But I'm really grateful for this opportunity and so thankful that I get to do this and I'm doing it for you. And when I am sitting there, like every time I start a new chapter, I say a prayer and I think of you and know that like, this is for you and it's even if it's Hard, and I'm like, oh my gosh, still reading 4 hours later. I know it's because you're gonna listen to me in the car on the way to pickup or on your morning walk or while you're waiting to pick up your kid in the parking lot or while you're doing dishes. And I think of you and I'm like, okay, I can do this, I can do it, because I want this to be in the hands of every mom that has ADHD.
Patricia Sung [00:06:15]:
You can have my ADHD brain in your hands, metaphorically, not physically. But I have taken everything that I've learned and put it in this book, and I want you to have it. It's time to pre-order your copy of Motherhood in ADHD: Practical Strategies to Calm the Storm in Your Home, Heart, and Mind. Yes, there's a printed copy. Yes, there's an ebook. Yes, there's an audiobook. You can listen or read in whatever way makes you feel best, and it's time to order Now, the book walks through understanding ADHD, then goes into emotional regulation and energy management. From there, we talk about letting go of guilt and shame, and then how to build your self-trust.
Patricia Sung [00:07:00]:
This is a culmination of years of working with people with ADHD, listening to you, and putting it together into one concise format that is a resource for every mom with ADHD. When you order your preorder copy, then you're going to head over to my website and fill out the form that you have preordered your copy. And then I will send you some bonuses because who wants to wait till February? I will send you a digital chapter sampler so you can do some reading now. And I'm going to record some of the bonus content, which is stuff that got cut out of the editing process and send those to you in November so that you will have something to scratch that itch until the book actually comes out in February. As you are signing up, when I hit different milestones of people buying the book, I'm going to be raffling off cool stuff. I have care packages that I'm literally going to mail you something wonderful, or you might win one of my courses or a coaching session. And as we move forward, I'm going to raffle those off. So if you are one of the first people in there, you are in all the raffles.
Patricia Sung [00:08:06]:
Hint, hint, wink, wink. The more pre-orders that are in, the more stuff I'm giving away. If we get enough pre-orders, I will also do a Q&A session after the publish date so that we have a chance to like, you know, look through some or all of it before we chat. Up to 1,000 pre-orders and I will come to somebody's virtual book club that you host and I'm gonna show up and I will answer any questions that you and your friends have. Now, this is my first book, so I'm still learning a lot. But what I do know is that pre-orders matter because it tells the publisher how many books to print before publish day. And I'm gonna be honest, I'm a little bit insulted But my publisher only printed 500 copies to show up in the US. The rest are over in the UK, and I'm pretty sure that there's more than 500 moms in the US that want this information.
Patricia Sung [00:08:55]:
So I need your help to tell them that this matters and that we need more copies. Because my publisher is in Europe, it takes 3 months to get them to print the book and ship them over to the US, which means they need to know by mid-November that, hey, we're going to need more than $500 in order for them to get here by February. So I really need your help on this. Please preorder the book. Please fill out the preorder bonuses because then I have proof of like, hey, y'all, there are people that need this book. You got to hit print so that they can get that second print going in time for you to have it in your hands in February. Now, if you're like, Patricia, I can't afford the book. Cool.
Patricia Sung [00:09:35]:
Go to your library, request the book from your library, and then submit that request in your pre-order bonus thing. And I will still send you the pre-order bonuses, and I will still send you the digital sampler, because I want this in as many moms' hands as possible. And if your library gets, you know, 10 moms from your area saying, hey, we want to read this, like, I'm hoping your library is going to be like, oh look, everybody wants to read Patricia's book. And they order— I was gonna be like one copy or 5, I don't know. But I truly want this book to be in every mom's hands, whether it is free, whether you bought it, I don't care. I just want moms to have this information readily accessible. So help a girl out, go order your copy at patriciasung.com/book. That's where you'll fill in the form for pre-order bonuses.
Patricia Sung [00:10:26]:
You can literally just Google me on Amazon. Barnes& Noble, bookshop.org, wherever it is you like to get books, or Kindle for the ebook. Like, go order it. Please tell your friends, buy your friends a copy. Everyone gets one for Christmas, for Valentine's Day. Shout it from the rooftops that we ADHD moms want this information and it is important. patriciasung.com/book and get your copy. All right, let's dive into my unpopular opinion for today.
Patricia Sung [00:10:58]:
It is on Paris Hilton's ADHD Creator Summit that happened last weekend. Well, I guess by the time you listen to this, it'll be 2 weekends ago. Whoa, the internet is grouchy about this event. Oh my gosh. In case you have been not following the social shenanigans, Paris Hilton hosted a creator event at her mansion, wherever she lives in California, and it was for ADHD creators. So people from like TikTok and Instagram and stuff that Speak about ADHD. Now let me preface this with, I am not a Paris superfan. Just generally speaking, I don't really follow celebrity culture.
Patricia Sung [00:11:38]:
I don't know who famous people are. Like, I waited tables all through college, and one time I waited on James Wood, who is, um, the voice of the, the mean grasshopper. Was it Antz? Um, he's done a lot of more stuff, but that's the one that's most relevant to me, which tells you how much I follow celebrity culture. Um, and I didn't even know who he was the whole time until one of the other waitresses was like, oh my gosh, do you know who that is? I was like, nope. So I just treated him like a regular old person, and he had a lovely dinner with whatever lady he was with, um, because I did not care who he was. And he got a— he got a plain old regular restaurant experience with me until all the other waitresses started asking him for photos. So I have always said, like, if you are a famous person and you need a friend who's just gonna treat you like a regular person You can come hang out with me because like, I don't know who you hung out with. I don't really care.
Patricia Sung [00:12:28]:
I'm just not a celebrity, like influencer-y kind of person. Like I just, I can't keep all those people straight. I got enough going on in my own life. Like even as a kid, like I was not into like all the like NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, any of that stuff. Like they were just, I liked the music and like, but like I probably couldn't even name all the people in the band. So I'm like, I guess I should really turn back the time. I was a New Kids on the Block era kid. Like.
Patricia Sung [00:12:50]:
Not even NSYNC or Backstreet Boys. I'm older than that. But anyways, point being, I am not like a super fan. I don't think I'm in Paris's like target market for any of her products. I don't know her. I'm watching this as an outside observer. So this event, from appearances on the internet, it was full Paris, 100% Paris, like pink glitter sparkles, very like if word vomit mixed with fairy princess was visually represented. Like, that was the vibe.
Patricia Sung [00:13:21]:
And a lot of it I found particularly overwhelming, which is also why I am not in the target market. But it was like over the top. It was at her personal home. And although I'm sure she has the money and who— the internet was mad because there were a lot of complaints around whether it was like just like an inappropriate spending of money. There were complaints about not being enough diversity in the invitation list. There were complaints about not paying creators for their work. I mean, the list went on and on and on about how people were mad about things, and I'm sure I didn't even hit the half of it. But my maybe unpopular opinion is, what did you expect? She's been this way for decades.
Patricia Sung [00:14:04]:
Like, she's been in the limelight for— it's got to be at least like 20, 25 years. Like, this was full-on Paris. Like, if you could go and like make up what you would imagine based on what you know as an outside observer of Paris, like, this was spot on and she showed up like we would expect her to show up. So why would you expect her to show up in a different way? Like people were saying, oh, she should have paid for people's like flight out there and their hotel accommodations or like had a sponsor do it. And there was just like so much like should have, should have, should have. I'm like, what did you expect? Like this? It sounds like people are expecting Paris Hilton to show up as somebody besides Paris Hilton. Like, and that's a you problem. That's not a Paris Hilton problem.
Patricia Sung [00:14:43]:
Like she just recently started advocating for child abuse, but like She has never been, to my knowledge— like, granted, I don't know her and I am not like a super fan that knows all the intricacies, so like, you know, don't get on my case— but generally speaking, like, she's not somebody who advocates for diversity. Like, this is her first foray into like really stepping out into like speaking about ADHD. Like, she's talked about it before, but like, this is like a big step. And like, yes, she recently started talking about child abuse, but like, generally speaking, the things that she has talked about that are important to her have not been diversity, have not been small creators, have not been fighting for the little man. Like, that's not who she is, nor has she said she is, nor has she shown us that she is. So I guess I'm just like confused why people are expecting Paris Hilton to show up as somebody other than Paris Hilton that she has shown us literally for decades. She's been quite consistent in that, actually. So I don't know why people are trying to be like, she should have done this, she should have done this.
Patricia Sung [00:15:38]:
I'm like, no, this event here was spot on her. Like, it doesn't match my values. It may not be what I would do, but like, it's spot on Paris. And people are mad that she showed up like her and not like somebody else. And I'm like, I— that's weird. And also, you don't get to do that. You don't get to tell somebody else that they should have shown up in a different way. Like, that's literally what we're fighting for over here, is letting people show up as who they truly are.
Patricia Sung [00:16:00]:
And then people are like, well, but not like that. So I'm kind of like, yo, that's a you problem. If you're expecting Paris Hilton to be something that she's not, that's not her fault. And I'm sure she's used to that because, you know, she's been in the limelight forever. But like What'd you expect? Second point, I think there's a lot of RSD showing up here, a lot of hurt feelings, a lot of sadness, 'cause like it sucks to not be invited to the cool kids' party. 'Cause when I first saw it, I was like, aw, like nobody invited me. And I'm like looking at it and then I realized like it's not for me. Like I know I do post stuff on the internet, but like I don't consider myself a creator.
Patricia Sung [00:16:34]:
So like if somebody's hosting an ADHD creator event, that's— I don't really identify with that. Would I contribute greatly? I think so, because I think I got a lot of good things to say. But like that's not really my wheelhouse. I don't even do TikTok. Like, I just recently started posting more because the book's coming out, but like, I probably would be much better off without social media, to be honest with you. Like, it's not— it's, it's, uh, I'm not gonna get on my social media soapbox for today. I'm just gonna table that. But like, I just think there was so much hurt feelings to not get invited to the cool kids party, and I think that clouds a lot of people's judgment in the way they're speaking about it.
Patricia Sung [00:17:12]:
Now, you're allowed to be hurt. It is sad. It's hard not to be invited. It's hard to see all these people get together and you're not in there. And I'm not downplaying that, like, that sucks. When I first saw it, I was like, this sucks, how come I don't get to go? And I'm like, well, I'm actually hosting my own retreat, so like I couldn't even gone if I got the invite. But it's like, I still wanted the invite because I want to be included, right? And then I realized this isn't for me, and that's okay. But like, it's also okay that like I'm sad that I didn't get invited.
Patricia Sung [00:17:37]:
It's okay that you're sad that you didn't get invited to somebody's cool thing. That hurts. I think a lot of those feelings, like, you have to sit with them and deal with them, but I think a lot of them are getting projected onto this event because people's feelings were hurt. It's hard to be the kid who was invited when you are a socially minded person to see like, oh, I got this invite and none of these other people got the invite and now these people's feelings are hurt and then people that were there might feel bad about posting about it or they post things and then they get the backlash. It's like, you know, it's like a lose-lose situation when it comes to that. And I constantly remind myself, like, not every room is for me. That's okay. I don't have to be in every space.
Patricia Sung [00:18:17]:
And yes, it sucks, but like both things can be true at the same time. So I do think that hurt feelings contributed to a lot of the backlash of this event. Next thought. There was a lot of complaining about people saying like, oh, they should have paid the creators for their time or for the hotel or for their travel. And I think people are struggling with the fact that like this event kind of blurs in the middle of like it wasn't a brand event. It was billed as a summit that like a summit is when a bunch of people get together and, you know, great minds gather to discuss a problem and then try to work on that problem and like find solutions. Now I haven't seen any like postmortem doc, but am I expecting Paris Hilton to send out a postmortem doc of her event? No. But it's like I don't know if what the intended goal was actually achieved.
Patricia Sung [00:19:06]:
I don't know because I don't know what the goal was. But like, a summit is a gathering of like-minded people to work together on something. And then people are like, well, but they should have paid people to do that. And I'm like, but that's a brand event. That is an event where they're coming and being like, hey creator, come here and share all this stuff. Now, did they probably get a lot of that? Absolutely. I'm not saying they didn't get that. But the way that this was explained to me is that this was not a brand event.
Patricia Sung [00:19:28]:
They weren't saying like, hey, come to Paris's house and then take a bunch of pictures of her perfume and then share it like a brand deal. So I think people saying like, oh, they should have paid people. I'm like, but this wasn't advertised as like a paying job. Like, to me it's more of like a conference that you go to and then you meet other people, or like a summit where you go to and you meet the other people. And like, even more, I would say it leans more towards like party. You got invited to the party, but you wouldn't expect your friend to be like, oh, also I'll pay for your hotel and your airfare to get here. Like, granted, like, she— you're not friends with her, but like, I just think people are expecting something out of it that this event wasn't. Intended to do.
Patricia Sung [00:20:03]:
So the uproar about like people not getting paid to be there, it's like it wasn't a paid event. Like it wasn't a job. It was an invitation to join this group of people to discuss something important. Now, next point, what was the point? I don't— I'm not really sure. Um, I don't know exactly what the end goal is, but to what I understand when I looked at the people who I know, or have a few that I followed for a long time that have spoken about it, but like several of them I've met in real life and The way that they spoke about it, they just seemed to leave feeling seen, feeling validated, feeling heard, and left that event really feeling like confidence up, energy up. Like they left seeming better for having gone to this thing. And there was some talk about like people posting stuff on the social media. They're posting incorrect information about ADHD, and it's important to bring that awareness.
Patricia Sung [00:20:58]:
I don't know what was done about it, but like. That is an important thing to talk about. It's important that these creators are energized so that they can keep doing the work that they're doing, bringing awareness to a cause that is very important to us. So in that way, I'm like, that seems like it was good. It was a good thing. People liked being there and they were encouraged by being there. And that is something we need more of in the world. Next point is though, I fully agree with like, there was not enough inclusivity here.
Patricia Sung [00:21:26]:
There were not enough colors of people. It was just not enough diversity. And I agree with that. And that's something that we need to keep shouting about. We need to keep saying like, hey, we need more inclusivity, we need more perspectives. And that's a valid thing. And we should keep talking about that. And yes, it would be nice had they not made it as cost prohibitive as it was for some people to get there.
Patricia Sung [00:21:48]:
But again, I feel like people are expecting something that this wasn't billed as. Again, this wasn't a job. They weren't asking these people to come and work. They were asking people to come And I, I think like to be encouraged and to expect that like, not only do you get this wonderful party with the food and the events and be like, but you also should have paid for my transportation and you also should have paid for my hotel. Like it starts to look a little like entitled to be like, well, you should have done this and you should have done this. And it's like, yes, that would've been lovely, but we can't force people to spend their money on something that we don't get to do that. We can say this is important and we can say, hey, can we get sponsorships next year to cover that? Or like we can shout that that's really important, but there's a fine line here of like, that's not what I would do. Like Patricia would cut back the budget by 10 grand on decorations and Patricia would rather spend that 10 grand to get 4 more creators there.
Patricia Sung [00:22:39]:
I get that. But like, that's my value system. But like, if you look at Paris Hilton's value system, like she's not going to cut back on the decorations. Like that's her brand. That's her thing is like all the, the hoo-ha and the sparkle. Like again, we're expecting her to be something she's not. And I don't know how much notice people got, but like maybe there is a way for creators to be like, hey, if you want to come but you can't, like, we're partnering with these brands, like, can we get these brands to sponsor? So like, there are ways to do it, but I think that it's kind of rude to be like, hey Paris, but you should have paid for more, you should have done more. Because yes, we want more inclusivity, we want more diversity, but there is that piece of autonomy that's like, look, this girl just opened up her house, invited all y'all here, and then people are like, but you didn't pay for my hotel.
Patricia Sung [00:23:22]:
I mean, I don't know if those people are, but like other people are saying that. Like, well, you didn't pay for the hotel. It's like, girl, I just invited you to my house and now you're like, but that wasn't enough? Like, where's the balance? How— like, I think this is— again, both can be true. There should be more diversity. And also, like, she's already giving a gift of welcoming you into her home and people are about, you also should have spent, you know, $600 on my plane ticket. It just feels kind of rude. So like, there has to be a way though to find the balance. But really, like, That's where my unpopular opinion, like, comes down to, is like, I think that her imperfect action is better than nothing.
Patricia Sung [00:23:58]:
I would rather Paris Hilton be out there and do an event like this and be like, but we could do these things better next time, than for it to be like, that wasn't good enough and you shouldn't do it. I don't want the negativity to stop other people from stepping up because you know what? Did you invite everybody to your house? No, she did that. Like, that's something to say thank you for. That's something to give like a nod to. And she did something. Was it perfect? No. Could it be better? Yes. But like, she did something, and I will take that imperfect action over nothing every time.
Patricia Sung [00:24:32]:
Now, if this comes to be like the 5th time she does this and there's still only 2 Black people in the room, yeah, now we can be mad about it. And now we can start speaking in a more angry tone because they're not listening. But to expect it to be perfect for the first time is not cool. I don't like that there weren't enough people of color in there. I wholeheartedly disagree with that. And I'm not going to tell her to not do it. Like, okay, you did that, great, it was awesome, I high-five you. And what do— how do we make it better next time? But I don't want all this negativity to keep people from starting.
Patricia Sung [00:25:06]:
Like, all this backlash, like, it makes me think, like, well, I mean, I already host a retreat and people could say the same thing about me. They'd be like, well, Patricia, it's not accessible for everybody because you gotta travel to blah blah blah. I get it. I can't make my event perfect for everyone, so I'm going to highlight the things that are important to me. I think diversity is incredibly important, and that's why it really matters to me that my clients show up who are Black, who are Asian, who are Jewish, who are Muslim, and they're not all like white Christian ladies. Like, that's important to me. And that reflects in the people that I surround myself with. So yes, Patricia's event would be different, and yes, there's also things I could do to make it more inclusive for people, and I'm doing my best.
Patricia Sung [00:25:46]:
And I want others to know that trying your best is better than nothing. I don't want the negativity to stop these things from happening. So we have to continue speaking up for what we think is right. Yes, there needs to be more people of color there. There needs to be ways that we can help People who have not enough money to get there to have a way to get there because we want all those voices in the room. But here's the thing, we want those voices in the room. I don't know that everybody wants those voices in the room, and that speaks volumes. So we're going to keep shouting that we want diversity, we want to discuss the intersectionalities of ADHD, that this is important and valid, and we want the research on ADHD and women who have a chronic illness.
Patricia Sung [00:26:29]:
And are a person of color. Like, we want this, but like, if we poo-poo the first event, then other people aren't going to step up. So it is okay for us to say, I wish there had been things that were different, and also I'm really glad she did it. So I salute Paris for her imperfect action and that she's doing something. And I'm going to say, I would love to see more diversity in that— I was going to say in that room— on that lawn. But I'm not going to tear her down for not making it perfect the first time. If it's a repetitive pattern, okay. But you know what? Also, I'm not going to expect Paris Hilton to be something different than she's not.
Patricia Sung [00:27:06]:
Her slogan— I had to Google it because I didn't know what it meant— is this sliving, slaying and living your best life. But I'm already living. I'm slaying what I'm doing. I'm living my best life. I am not Paris's target audience because I can do all that without, you know, her perfume and whatever. So I'm not expecting Paris to have the same values as me. And I also don't think that people's values and opinions change by posting mean videos about them on the internet. People's values and like what's meaningful to them changes by heartfelt conversations, by relationship, by closeness.
Patricia Sung [00:27:40]:
And so I would love the opportunity to speak that into her life, but I'm not her girl, don't know her. So I'm gonna pray that the people around her are speaking That way, that the media team that helped put on the event is listening and recognizing, hey, we want more of this and we also want diversity. We also want to support people who don't have the funds to be here. We want to do good work. And also recognize like Paris's event can't be for everyone. And if she's not up for like promoting diversity, I'm not gonna spend my time barking up that tree either. I'm gonna go start my own event. That does that.
Patricia Sung [00:28:20]:
So to sum it up, keep yelling from the rooftops that we want more diversity, that we want more inclusion, and— you can't see me, but I'm doing the little thing that the kids do, the little clock it. It was great! You stepped out, you did something hard, you were willing to put yourself out there and put your money where your mouth is and start talking about it to create these conversations. I'm here for it. We can live with that both/and. It doesn't have to be either/or. So if you want to invite me next time, girl, go for it. But I want to be in the room where these conversations are happening so that I can offer the wisdom and the values that I have to guide that conversation. I'm not going to cut out people who are trying and be like, well, you know what, she doesn't do what I would do, so I'm done.
Patricia Sung [00:29:03]:
I'm willing to be in that space until I realize if those people aren't willing to listen, you got to go. But if they're willing to listen, then that's the room I want to be in. And it's the same thing in our lives. When we want to change people's opinions, we can't yell at them. We can't You know, spit out hatred to change people's opinions. We need to be loving and we need to meet them where they are and talk to them in a way that's going to make sense to their brain so that they can see the other side of things. But when we just start yelling at each other and being spiteful and mean, it doesn't actually make anything better. It actually makes it worse.
Patricia Sung [00:29:37]:
So I say high five, Paris. You are sliving. Excellent work on this event, and I hope to see it improve every single year that you host it so that these conversations can be had and that the awareness can be there. And I appreciate you. I'm gonna be real, I never thought I'd be like, yeah, I really appreciate Paris Hilton, but here I am. Good job, Paris. For more resources, classes, and community, head over to my website, motherhoodinadhd.com.