How I Juggle it All as a Mom with ADHD #284

Click the triangle to play this episode or scroll down to read:

You can do it all...but not at the same time.

Every mom hits a busy season where you have no idea how everything is going to get done. Overwhelm is knocking at the door and you aren't sure where to start. I'm in that busy season with my upcoming book, and I'm sure you've been there (or are there now), too.

Today I'm sharing an update on what's been happening in the last few weeks, and 6 things I'm doing to keep myself sane while I do it all.

Plus I'm asking for help on who you think I should share the book with, so we can get the word out to as many moms as possible.

Pick what helps and leave the rest. Big hugs! You can do this!

It’s time to take care of you, mama.

A whole weekend for you to relax and get away from all your weighty responsibilities, to understand your ADHD mind in community with moms who get it.

Picture it: You, me, and 13 other ADHD mamas hanging out all weekend with plenty of acres and your very own adorable tiny home for you to enjoy the peace and quiet, too. Time to relax!

Get your ticket now for the 5th annual ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat on October 16-18, 2026, and I’ll take care of everything once you arrive! https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat

Patricia Sung [00:00:00]:

You know what? I really should be folding laundry, but it's more important that I'm taking care of myself because then I have the energy to fold laundry and then not yell at people when they won't get in their bed at night. Are you overwhelmed by motherhood and barely keeping your head above water? Are you confused and frustrated by how all the other moms make it look so easy? You can't figure out how to manage the chaos in your mind, your home, or your family. I getcha, mama. Parenting with ADHD is hard. Here is your permission slip to let go of the Pinterest-worthy visions of organization and structure fit for everyone else. Let's do life like our brains do lifeтАФ creatively, lovingly, and with all our might. When we embrace who we are and how our brains work, we can figure out how to live our lives successfully and in turn lead our families well. At the end of the day, we We just want to be good moms, but spoiler alert, you are already a great mom.

Patricia Sung [00:01:01]:

ADHD does not mean you're doomed to be a hot mess mama. You can rewrite your story from shame spiral to success story, and I'll be right here beside you to cheer you on. Welcome to Motherhood in ADHD. Hey there, successful mama. It's your friend Patricia Sung. It is time for our review of the week. Now, if you have not reviewed the podcast, please go in there and hopefully hit 5 stars and let me know what you think so that I can read your review on the next episode. Today's review is by Sar2938, 5 stars, entitled Such a Gift.

Patricia Sung [00:01:36]:

I didn't realize I needed this. Hearing from a smart, encouraging woman whose diagnosis story mirrors my own was so refreshing. Even as a nurse practitioner with training in this area, I still have learned so much and I'm applying Patricia's tips and tools to my own motherhood. Very grateful for this. Thank you. Thank you so much, Sar. Thank you so much for your encouragement. And I hope you will share the podcast with a friend who could use the encouragement as well.

Patricia Sung [00:02:03]:

Oh my goodness, friend, I am so excited to be sitting on the floor of my closet with you again. Wow, I really miss talking to you. And it has been a whirlwind, a whirlwind this past few months. It's been great. It's been different. It's been a little weird, but it's been interesting. And if I like reverse back, this summer I took a 6-week sabbatical knowing that this next few months was gonna be really busy. And not because I was burnt out, not because I was like sick of what I was doing, not at all.

Patricia Sung [00:02:42]:

Like I just knew that this season was gonna be really busy and I needed to give myself enough rest. Rest and recovery time beforehand to be able to go and like make it through these next few months without losing my ever-loving sanity. And I was right. Good job me, because here we are. It's about a month into school. It's about a month back from my sabbatical. And oh my goodness, it'sтАФ we're running. And it's been a time of transition.

Patricia Sung [00:03:10]:

Like I really enjoyed my time off to the point where like I was sad to come back just because the break was so great, but also I had so many things rolling around in my head that I was like, I really just want to get back to work. Like, I want to get this stuff rolling. I'm like, there's so much to say. I'm like, I got to keep it concise though, because part of that sabbatical time was me looking at like, how much time do I actually have to complete the work that I'm doing? And what does this new season look like? Because we're on a different schedule now. So I have a middle schooler now, and that's a different schedule than the elementary school, not just day to day, but like Sometimes one kid has an early release, but the other one doesn't. So that just means there's more days that they're home, which of course is wonderful. But also like, I try not to work when my kids are home. One, I try to give them more of my undivided attention, which is definitely a work in progress.

Patricia Sung [00:04:06]:

But also like, I just find it really hard to work with my kids around. I know that there's some people that can do it. It's not for me. And I find it very difficult and I get really frustrated when I'm trying to do something and they are asking me questions. And so if that's their time, then I can't be working. During that time. And so, you know, there have been some exceptions, like all of these book proofs. Like when they send it back to me, they're like, hey, we need this in the next couple days.

Patricia Sung [00:04:29]:

And so there are times where it's like, hey, if I'm gonna go through this many pages, like it really does have to bleed into like my family time. But it's like a short stint, and my kids are, I think, used to it now that they're like, oh yep, here we go again. Um, but like, let me give you a quick update on where we are, and then my plan is to like tell you how I am juggling it all as a mom with ADHD in this Because it's been a lot, I won't lie. And there's been several days in the last month where like I have like deer-in-the-headlights look and being like, I don't know how I'm gonna do all this. Like, I have no idea how I'm gonna get all this stuff done. I don't know how I'm going to raise a family and run my business and keep up with like our rental properties and also launch a book and also be a present mom and not yell at people. Like, there's so many times where I'm like, oh my goodness, I don't I don't know how I'm gonna do this. I don't know.

Patricia Sung [00:05:24]:

So I'm gonna share that. But first, let me give you an update on the book. So right now we are on the 4th set of proofs, which I'm not gonna lie, every time I read my book, I love it. I am so excited for it to be in your hands. And I also cannot wait to be done with editing. Like, I am just done. Like, D-U-N, done. I don't wanna edit any more things because it's really not fun.

Patricia Sung [00:05:46]:

Like, reading a book for fun is when you're reading the book to like find all the errors. And generally, like, I actually like that stuff. Like, I'm an Enneagram 1, Like I am happy to find like the error, like needle in the haystack. But at this point, I'm just like, I just want to be done. I don't want, I don't want to do this anymore. I just want it to be right. And I am sure that the book is going to print and I'm going to be like, I, oh, I missed that. I don't like that.

Patricia Sung [00:06:07]:

And I'm just gonna have to hope that when it gets reprinted that it in fact will be correct then. Because at this point, like, I feel like my brain is turning into a square by looking at these pages. And I, I'm done. So I sent back the fourth set of proofs and there were like maybe 10 things that were like, oh, this thing be italicized and, you know, this bullet is intended funny. Like, it's minor stuff at this point. I'm not allowed to make any major changes. I'm not allowed to move anything that would change like where things are on a page because it'll mess up the index and the different references. So it really is down to the nitty-gritty.

Patricia Sung [00:06:41]:

A couple weeks ago, we finalized the COVID So that is done and I'm waiting for that graphic so that I can send it to you and get to share it with you hopefully in the next couple days. Uh, let's see. The audio engineer reached out for the audiobook, so I have those dates scheduled for the end of October. I'll be recording the audiobook, um, which I'm hoping is kind of like this, sitting here talking to you, except I have to read what's on the page. So I mean, it's all my own words, but there's no creativity allowed at that point. I gotta, I gotta stick to what I actually wrote. So that should be interesting because with the podcast episodes, I don't write this word for word. I have a, like, an outline and I have done my research But like, it's not word for word by any means.

Patricia Sung [00:07:22]:

So that'll be different. And that will be, I'm sure, a growth area for me to stay on track and actually say the words that I wrote on the page in black and white. So now that the most of like the actual decisions about what's gonna be inside the pages, like on the paper, have been made, that means that we're moving into like the promotion section of it. So I'm thinking about like, what do I want to do for the promotion? Like a preorder campaign, which I'm, you know, nailing down those ideas and looking at like who I want to talk to. Like, if you know anybody like, Patricia, you have got to talk to so-and-so and tell them about your book. Like, whether that is like a podcast you love or a friend of yours that is at a magazine, like literally, mama, any place that you're like, Patricia, you need to be here, please tell me. Because I am finding that actually promoting the book doesn't feel like work because I know that like this is my mission right now, is to share this with as many moms as possible so that I can get the help that moms need out there to help as many women as possible for a low cost or free if you're getting the book from the library. Like, go request it from your library, tell your library, order the copy.

Patricia Sung [00:08:34]:

Like, I want every mom to have access to this information, and so it doesn't feel hard to talk about it. And so I'm gonna say straight up to you, if you know anywhere, like any room that I should be in, please tell them, tell me. I want to help as many moms as possible have this information at their fingertips. So that's like my main goal for the next few months. But before I start promoting the book, I also have my retreat coming up next month. So if you want to come, this is the time. Uh, tickets are ending very soon. I'm like, actually, I've been so into book mode, I'm like, I need to make sure what day that is.

Patricia Sung [00:09:11]:

I think it'sтАФ I think it's next Thursday. So get your ticket like now because it's almost closed. Because at that point, I need to start like putting everything together, and I have to know how many people are here to like You know, purchase food and all, you know, the sweet thing I'm going to leave for you in your tiny home. So this is the time to get your ticket. Same website as usual, patriciasung.com/retreat. Grab your ticket. And so like all that's going on in my work life, but then at home we've also got, well, I guess also technically in work life is our rental properties. And you know, those are constant maintenance things that pop up, but like home-wise, my husband is traveling a ton for work right now.

Patricia Sung [00:09:50]:

He is gone most weeks for at least 2 or 3 days, pretty much from now through Thanksgiving, so it's a lot of juggling stuff on my own. I have, um, a middle schooler now, so we are juggling the new way we do things in middle school. And I'm very thankful that I have like a middle school teacher background, um, but it's definitely like a learning curve of teaching him those skills because he's like legitimately like, I don't understand why I have to use a planner, what's the point? And, and I'm like, I understand that you don't really need to use a planner right now because it's easy, it's the first month of 6th grade, there's not that much going on, but like Sir, pretty soon there is going to be a lot going on, and I want you to learn this skill when there's not a lot going on. We're learning this skill when it's easy because it will get hard eventually. I don't want to try to teach you like the skill while it's hard. And so, you know, the closer he gets to teenage years, the more he knows and the less I know. So we're working through that. You know, the kids have their usual activities and, you know, family visiting.

Patricia Sung [00:10:47]:

And, um, I'm just like I looked ahead at my schedule. I met this sweet girl at, um, playing mahjong at church a couple weeks ago, and she's teaching younger kids Spanish, which is what I taught. And I was like, oh my gosh, girl, I'd love to chat with you. And, you know, I like mentoring people, um, you know, who are coming up behind me. And, you know, she's taught for several years, but this is her first time teaching Spanish. And I looked at my calendar for when I could meet her for lunch. Like, I'm literally going to the school to have lunch with her. And the next Monday or Friday I have available to meet with her is November 13th.

Patricia Sung [00:11:23]:

Like two months from now, and I was like, oh my goodness! What on earth? Like what? What? And I mean, granted, in there there are several. Like they have a four-day weekend in October, and like you know my retreats in October, and we have some family visiting, and there's like half days for you know conferences at school, and then like the you know audiobook recording. A couple of those are on like Mondays and Fridays. I tried to spread them out so I wasn't like trying to talk nonstop for a whole week straight, like to give my voice a little bit of rest, and like. It's all good stuff, but it's a lot. And I think that there are so many times as moms where we are carrying all this stuff. And like in my case, hey, I'm in a good season. Like this is all a lot but good.

Patricia Sung [00:12:07]:

And like, yes, there are some bad things going on, don't get me wrong. Like we are always dealing with, you know, our aging parents and, you know, that kind of stuff and trying to keep up with our health and all that. But like, I think every mom has been in this season where it's like, oh my gosh, like how are we gonna do all this? And then with a brain that doesn't keep up with details, That's okay. The best, speaking for myself, like I have to have a plan in place. So what I'm gonna share with you today are, I came up with 6 things. I know that I could probably tell you 73 more, but part of what I realized in my sabbatical time was like, I don't want to stop doing the podcast, but I have to cut back the amount of time I spend on the podcast because now I also have to do book stuff. And I was just like, well then that just means I'm gonna have to be like really on it. So I have to pick up my kid in about 10 minutes.

Patricia Sung [00:12:57]:

So that means that I'm gonna tell you these things real quick, as fast as I can, so that I can leave in 10 minutes. And this is a work in progress for me is that I always want things to be like excellent perfectionism, and this time in my life, I can't do that. I have to keep it good enough and whatever I share with you, I know is gonna be good enough and helpful. So I don't need a list of 73 things. We got 6. And you know what? I might do a part 2 if I think of some more later. So let's see, here's how it goes. All right, so here are the 6 things that are helping me right now as a mom juggling it all and trying not to drop anything important.

Patricia Sung [00:13:34]:

Number 1, I am not aiming for perfectionism. Like I just said, my goal isтАФ I've told you this beforeтАФ more often than not. So M-O-T-N, MOTN. I'm aiming for more often than not. I'd like to go on a walk more often than I don't walk. So like try to do it more than 50% of the time. I want to do my podcast, but I don't have a ton of time, so we're just going to record this and hope for the best. I'm not re-recording anything.

Patricia Sung [00:13:57]:

It's gonna have to be good enough. And know that like there are plenty of times that like as I'm doing all these things, I'm I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I realize like, ooh, that was not good. I probably shouldn't have yelled at those kids. But my goal here isn't perfection. It's to do my best, continually getting better, do it more often than not, and with time that will improve. And I'm gonna trust myself that future Patricia's gonna have what it takes to be even better than I am today.

Patricia Sung [00:14:21]:

Number 2, clear priorities. You technically can't have priorities. Only, only one thing can be the most important. So for me, in my overarching thing, number 1 is God. So like I have to have some Bible time, some prayer time. I go to a Bible study on Tuesdays. I meet with a group of moms on Friday mornings for like just a little bit of like community time and like, uh, like a quick devotional. And I do my best not to miss those because I know that if I keep myself focused on what the Lord asks of me and like keeping up with my homework for my Bible study, then I'm a nicer person when I am reminded of what really matters.

Patricia Sung [00:14:58]:

So that's number one. God's most important and I gotta keep it. Like that space available. Number 2 is actually like resting care for me. Because I am juggling so many things, I have to take care of myself. So that means that I'm doing a much better job about going to bed earlier. Like not super early, I'm still a night owl, but like at least being in bed before midnight, hopefully with my eyeballs closed. Like taking care of myself, like making sure I schedule time in with my friends.

Patricia Sung [00:15:23]:

So like my friends are high up on that list of like, they're not higher than my family, but it's like if I need some community time, like that doesn't go to the bottom of the list. That means that it's okay for me to schedule something to care for myself during the day. Even it was like, you know what, I really should be folding laundry, but it's more important that I'm taking care of myself because then I have the energy to fold laundry and then not yell at people when they won't get in their bed at night. My family comes after taking care of myself, which I know some people are like, what? But they are incredibly important to me, but I can't take care of them well when I don't take care of myself. Then they get the scraps and it's not good for anybody. So they come next and then work. Again, I love what I do, and this is like part ofтАФ it's like a mission from God. Like, this was not my idea, and if you've been around here for a minute, you know this is not my idea.

Patricia Sung [00:16:09]:

But in knowing that this wasn't my idea, it also takes a lot of the responsibility off because I'm like, all right, well, Lord, you just lead me where I'm going and I'll figure it out, because it's not my job to figure it out. I'm not in charge, and so I just have to follow the instructions. So now when I look at my work, setting those really clear priorities too, so like when I sit down and I'm like, all these things are popping up, I compare it against my list. So the first thing is the book. If I need something for the book, like I need something to, you know, send edits to the publisher or whatever it is, I handle that first because they're waiting on me. And the longer I take, the longer the whole thing takes. So first up is book. Next is I'm working on updating my website.

Patricia Sung [00:16:46]:

So like when all these moms show up along with you, that they know how they can get help, where do they get help. And so I'm updating my website. So that means that like she can't do her job until I give the things that she needs. So that's second priority. Then I look at like, okay, my clients, my, you know, taking care of the retreat stuff coming up, like that has to happen next. And then it's followed by my other projects. So things like, you know, have some backend administration projects going, being able to meet new people. So all this like PR stuff that is going to be coming up.

Patricia Sung [00:17:19]:

And then how do I build relationships with people? So how do I spend time so that people know that I genuinely care? And like, like this is one of them. The podcast is one of them, but I don't do the podcast until the other things are done. And this list will shift as the book gets finished, you know, that will have less there. As the website gets finished, that will have less there. So like the things will continue to shift around, but I know right now in this moment, this is the order. So if I'm not sure what to do, I just go, okay, well, is there anything that for the book that has to get done today? And I start there. And that makes it a lot easier because otherwise I just stare at this list. I'm like, oh my goodness, there's so many things on here.

Patricia Sung [00:17:54]:

But that clear priorities really sets the stage for what are the things that matter most and what are the things I can wait on. And If you haven't heard that analogy about like juggling balls and you have to know which ones are plastic and will bounce and which ones are glass and will break if you drop them, which I'm pretty sure I did an episode on, so I willтАФ I also can't remember the lady who came up with the idea, so I'm gonna put that in the show notes so you can find it. I'm like, hold on, Patricia, pause real quick, write that down so you don't forget to do it. Reference the juggling analogy in show notes. See, this is another thing. I write it down right away because otherwise my brain It's not gonna remember. Okay. It's time to be who you are unapologetically.

Patricia Sung [00:18:41]:

No more contorting or shrinking yourself to fit inside the box. Instead, you're gonna feel the freedom of just being yourself because you are more accepting of who you truly are. You're invited, mama, to this year's Successful as a Mother Weekend Retreat. It is time to relax, unwind, rest, and take care of a very important person in the family, which is you. This year's retreat is on October 16th through 18th, and you are invited. This is an all-inclusive retreat. It covers your meals, your hotel, all of your activities. You literally only have to show up and I will take it from there.

Patricia Sung [00:19:17]:

We are staying at the peaceful Happy Goat Retreat just outside of Houston, Texas. I have rented the entire property so we have it all to ourselves, where we will enjoy nature and Breathe deep in the fresh air and the calm of the lake and the sway of the trees. But this is not camping, this is glamping. You will stay in your very own adorable modern tiny home with your own comfy queen-size bed, your own private bathroom and living space that's just for you. Go check out the pictures I posted on my website because it is so cute. We will spend the weekend learning about our ADHD and tune into who you are and what you need so that you can trust your gut and love yourself a little bit more, all while eating delicious food you didn't cook, you didn't clean up, and hanging out with awesome other ADHD mamas who are just like you in this journey of understanding ADHD and also trying to do all the things. But not this weekend. This weekend you are doing none of the things.

Patricia Sung [00:20:15]:

You are relaxing. I will take care of everything and you get to Head over to my website patriciasung.com/retreat and get your ticket. This is a small group of 14 mamas, and we already have a bunch of mamas going, so I don't have a ton of spots left. This means do not wait, do not procrastinate. When you hear this, this is your sign. Go sign up, get your ticket. And by signing up now, you get to pick the type of tiny home that you want to stay in before they are all gone. Gone.

Patricia Sung [00:20:45]:

So go sign up, get your ticket, and take a weekend to relax and take care of yourself while I do all the work. Head over to patriciasung.com/retreat and get your ticket for the ADHD Mom's Amazing Getaway Weekend and relax. patriciasung.com/retreat. Number 3, help. I have help. My kids' responsibility has been increasing, and I have help at my house. Like, I have a cleaning lady that comes every other week. I have another lady who helps me with mom stuff, um, on Wednesdays.

Patricia Sung [00:21:16]:

So like, right now now she's doing laundry while I'm recording this podcast, and I can't do everything that I do without help. So wait, please don't let anyone tell you that they're just, oh, I'm doing it all. No, you can't. And you know what? I don't have to be the one who folds the underwear. So like, one day my kids aren't gonna be like, you know what, my mom was a really great mom because she was the one who folded all my underwear. No, they're not gonna care. Somebody else can fold the underwear. It matters like, what are the jobs that have to be me? I will do them.

Patricia Sung [00:21:41]:

And if they don't, I can ask for Especially with my husband traveling this much, like, I just, I can't keep up with everything by myself. It's impossible. And I would yell at people. Also, one of the things I often tell moms who are business owners or entrepreneurs, like, a lot of times rather than hiring more help at your new company or work where you actually get more bang for your buck and more like mental peace, is actually having help at home. Because there's a lot of stuff that moms are charged with that like we, that don't actually have to be mom. Like, yes, if you're really into cooking, great, but anybody can make food. If you're really into like home organization, you're in cleaning, like you can do that, but it doesn't have to be you. Like there are so many things that you can get help with around the house if you have the resources to do that, that are more impactful than getting more help at work.

Patricia Sung [00:22:30]:

And I say that because most women business owners are happy to hire more people to help with their business, but then they feel bad that they're getting help at home. And that help at home is what allows you to run your business. That help at home is what gives you peace of mind that your kids are still eating vegetables even though you're not the one that cooked them. Like, it's far more valuable quite often than actually having like another assistant at work. Number 4, I'm gonna have to do later because I gotta go pick up my kid. So here we go. I didn't make it in time, but I'm almost done. This is life.

Patricia Sung [00:23:05]:

Okay, pause. I'll be right back. Okay, I'm back and I'm gonna make it fast. Number 4, a flexible schedule. So I have clear theme days and they've been fairly consistent for a while, but in this new season I've had to rearrange some of the stuff. So now like my theme days look roughly like Monday is mostly home days. So like I kind of look at Monday and Fridays as like Monday's my day to get like recuperate from the weekend and get everything back together. And then Friday is my day to get like recuperate from the week and then get everything ready for the weekend.

Patricia Sung [00:23:36]:

So like Monday is mostly home stuff and I try to do at least one thing either Monday or Friday that's just for me. But I do now have one hour set aside on Monday days to pitch for the book. So I don't normally like to mix my family days versus work days, but in this season where I'm in, that's not an option. And I'm kind of annoyed about it, but this is the season we're in. And maybe this only looks like it for the next couple months, but right now here's where I'm at. So every Monday afternoon, I set aside 1 hour to like, right now I'm just working on like, who do I want to ask? What do I want to say to them? And then every Monday I will email another podcast host or, you know, another YouTube person or another whoever and ask them like, hey, can I come on your podcast? Can I be on your YouTube? Like, whatever it is, somehow, like, can I speak inside your community? Can I teach your moms about something so that I can be out there spreading the word about book? But in the most like Patricia way of doing it, like, I want to be speaking and teaching. There are plenty of things I could do, but I know that like that hour is set aside to how do I do this the most Patricia way in sharing Tuesday, um, I'm at a Bible study in the mornings for 2 hours. So I start out withтАФ I try to get some admin stuff done for work, but sometimes it doesn't come together.

Patricia Sung [00:24:52]:

I go to my Bible study, and then in the afternoon, again, I have this mixed day where like sometimes I see clients on Tuesday afternoons, sometimes I have an interview, sometimes I have some admin to do. But generally speaking, when I get back from my Bible study, I eat lunch, and then I've got like an hour and a half, 2 hours to get some stuff done for work. On Wednesday's my project day. So this is the day that I have someone come help me at the house. And so she's got probably Like about six hours of stuff that's just regular things that she does every time. So there's about two hours, and we work on some kind of project together. So things like roughly once a month, I'm going to try meal planning and like prepping meals on the days where I don't have time to cook. I do still cook, but like if there is those days where it's like I just need to like pull some chicken out of the freezer and make it like that, I don't have to do the marinade ahead of time.

Patricia Sung [00:25:39]:

Like it's already prepped, and hopefully that'll make things easier. Projects like I had to organize my desk and office area because. Since I was there for 6 weeks, I just kept dumping stuff there. I'm like, oh, I'll deal with this later. Oh, I'll deal with this later. Oh, I'll deal with this later. And then I sat back down at my desk after my sabbatical and was like, oh my goodness, there's stuff everywhere. So like having someone else there allows me to finish the project, like get that last 10% done of like if I'm organizing it, like she helps me take all the stuff to the trash and like take these things to where they belong.

Patricia Sung [00:26:09]:

And just having that other person here, I find I getтАФ I don't necessarily like finish the part. Like sometimes I just have to be like, that's all the time I had today and I only did half my office. But having someone else here helps me get that last 10% done so that it's not left in chaos. And it's like all the trash went out, all the, you know, recycle went to the recycling bin, the donations went to the donation box. But it's like doable in that like I paused it and it's in like a sustainable pause situation so that it's not like you can't walk through my office until I happen to get back to this in a couple more weeks. Like, I know, like that's the beauty of having like essentially like a body double here. And then with her, I do like 2 hours of project stuff, and then that's it. And then I work the rest of the day.

Patricia Sung [00:26:50]:

And again, I tend to split the home stuff first because I am better about walking away from home projects than I am walking away from work projects. Like, work projects, I just keep going, and then I'm like, oh no, I was supposed to stop this an hour ago. So I know myself well enough to know that I'm better at walking away from those home projects than work, so they go first. And then then I move to work. Thursday is pretty much all just clients. So if you're doing one-on-one coaching with me, it's probably seeing youтАФ a lot of folks on Thursday. I also do a couple of interviews that day, but it's reallyтАФ that's like my talking day. And then Friday's a lot like Monday where it's mostly home stuff, but I might get a smidgen of work done in there, but very rarely.

Patricia Sung [00:27:31]:

Generally speaking, Friday is straight family stuff. And so in this flexible but like foundational schedule. And like, if you want to know how to do this, this is what I teach in Time Management Mastery, is weтАФ this is part of like one of the units is figuring out your foundational schedule. And what that allows me to do is make sure that I have time built in for the things that matter. So like, I know which days I have time to do like my Bible study homework. I know which days I have time to like go on a walk or go to the gym. It's kind of predetermined whether or not Like, do I need to look nice that day and like have my hair done, or am I wearing workout clothes because I'm digging in the garden? Like, that allows me to know like kind of where things fit without as much decision-making. Because like, if I know if I'm gonna have like a cute day or like a sweaty outdoor, you know, errandy kind of day, like it's easier to slot things in and it's not as much decision-making.

Patricia Sung [00:28:22]:

It's kind of like batching the decisions of making that easy, because I know that like if I'm going to be planning my fall garden, like I also don't plan an interview for that day. So these theme days let me kind fit things in. Like, I know if I'm trying to schedule a doctor's appointment, I try to put them on Monday or Friday. And then if the person's like, we don't do appointments those days, okay, fine, then I'll have to figure out where else it can fit. But I'm not like, oh my goodness, when could I do that? Like, it's probably a Monday or Friday. So just having this like general idea of where things go cuts down on decision making and makes things more efficient, because it's not like I was weeding my garden and now I have to do an interview and need to shower and do my hair and like account for that 45 minutes of getting ready, we're batching these things together so that it's much more efficient on like what's happening. Number 5, I have a minimum viable plan. So like I know what's the bare minimum, like constantly like scanning for like what's the bare minimum of what needs to get done.

Patricia Sung [00:29:18]:

And again, like it's going back to my clear priorities. Like the bare minimum is I need some Bible time, I need to take care of myself, I need to spend time with my family, and then I will put work in where it needs to But again, like the minimum viable plan, it's like I know what are the first things that need to get done so that it's not stressful. As stressful? It's not as stressful because like if somebody's home with a stomach bug, I know this is the bare minimum of what needs to get done. And I've talked about that a lot of different times. So like, you know, it's in the book. It'sтАФ oh man, what episode was that? Okay, again, writing this down. What episode? Show notes. Add this.

Patricia Sung [00:29:55]:

Okay, um, I talked about this several times, so let meтАФ I'll find one of those. And then that allows me to not shoot for the stars and then be sad I landed on the moon. Like, the bare minimum that has to get done is this, and as long as I get that done, great. Yes, it'll be wonderful I can also do these other 3 things, but if that doesn't come together, I've set my expectations much more realistically. Okay, and then final, number 6. I have very clear boundaries on what I am willing and not willing to So overall, because I know what I'm willing and not willing to do, it makes decisions a lot easier because a lot of things have already been predetermined. So like, I know like it's really rare that I will cancel on someone for something. Like, if I have to do it, I have to do it.

Patricia Sung [00:30:37]:

If I said I was gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. And I'm only canceling on you if there is like some disaster, you know, like someoneтАФ I have a flat tire or my kid's vomiting. Like, because I am careful with my yeses. I don't give out my yeses as easily as I used to, and I know like what I'm willing to do. And the funny thing is like I actually have probably spent more time with friends in the last month than I have in a while because I have placed that as a higher value of like caring for myself. Like that matters. But I also like if I don't think I can make that event, like I'm not gonna tell you that I will And I'm a maybe. I'm not gonna say yes and then cancel.

Patricia Sung [00:31:19]:

I know that it hurts my feelings when people say yes and then cancel, so I don't want to do that to others. And I'd much rather just say up front like, hey, I'm not sure, let me get back to you. And because I'm more careful about my yeses, then it's much less frequently that I need to cancel on something because I don't overcommit myself nearly to what I used to. Now I do feel a little overcommitted in terms of like the grand scheme of my life, just because I'm like, I don't know how I'm gonna get all this stuff done. But in that case, like, it's not necessarily I'm not overcommitting to a person. It's more like the project overall. Like, I don't know how I'm gonna get this book in front of as many moms as possible, but I'm just gonna do my best. And like, I know generally speaking, I don't work nights and weekends.

Patricia Sung [00:32:00]:

If my kids are home, I try not to work. Like, here's an exception because I am recording this right now while my kid is hopefully doing his Mandarin homework. But like, I'm only gonna be here for like 10 minutes and then I'm gonna be done. This is what it is. If the episode's not good, I'm really sorry. It's not getting any better than it is. Like, I think this is as good as it gets. And because I am more clear about like family time is family time and work time is work time, it does make it a lot easier again to say no to things where I'm like, if people are like, hey, can you do this thing at the same time as my kid's piano lesson? Like, no, I, I gotta be there.

Patricia Sung [00:32:34]:

Now there might be a way that I can work it out, but I'm not gonna skip the things that matter to me for things that matter less to me. And it's not that they don't matter at all, but I feel like a really Be much more sure of myself in the way that I am willing to do what I'm willing to do, and I am not willing to do what I'm not willing to do. And so like, sure, there's exceptions where like I messed up and I thought that there was another Thursday in September, and then I looked and realized October 1st is a Thursday, and I was like, this is the last one. So I'm like, can I pull together this episode in September? I think I can, but I know like I'm not gonna spend more than the time needed away from my kid to do that. So knowing that very clearly what my boundaries are has made it much easier to make decisions and then be able follow through with them. So on that note, Mama, I'm gonna go make sure my kid's doing his homework and enjoy this early dismissal day. And I hope that you are having a really wonderful day. And if you aren't, what can you do to take a little breather for yourself and take care of yourself? Because as moms, things are just gonna keep flying.

Patricia Sung [00:33:35]:

Kids don't get to be any less work. They get to be different kinds of work, but they don't get to be less work until they leave. And then again, it's a different kind of work when you're parenting adults. Adult children, or so I hear, because I don't have any. But like, you get to take a break, you get to slow down and take care of yourself so that you have enough capacity to do everything that you need to do and want to do. So I am really excited that we got to chat. I want to talk more, but I gotta go. And I am hoping to get some good episodes together for next month, but part of me is like, I don't even know if I'm able to do that.

Patricia Sung [00:34:09]:

Again, I'm really flying by the seat of my pants A lot more than I normally do, but not in the sense of like, I don't have a plan. Like I told you, I have really clear priorities on what matters, but I don't actually know how those things are going to get accomplished. So that part is more loose. And I guess maybe that would be like a number 7, but I'm not adding another one because I said that's all I'm doing. But this season, I've had to have like a really clear big structure, but the like inside middle parts, I don't necessarily know how they're going to come together. And this is a stretch for me because I like to do things the way that I like to do things. And I'm in a season where it feels like the strong winds are blowing the boat and I'm, you know, just hanging on for dear life and trying to catch the gust while they can push me forward and, you know, make things happen. So, uh, to reiterate, sign up for the retreat if you haven't signed up yet.

Patricia Sung [00:35:01]:

Tell all your friends about this book. I'm gonna have all the pre-order stuff coming to you pretty quickly here. So if you're not on the list, you can go to my website and find the info on the book. But yeah, that should be coming soon. And I am so glad that we got to talk today. You are amazing. I really appreciate you being here. I have thought about you so much as I put together this book, and I really can't wait for you to read it.

Patricia Sung [00:35:22]:

So, um, say a prayer for me as I try to get all this stuff done. And you know what, it'll all come together eventually. Like, it's definitely not my plan, but it'll all come together. It'll be fine. And I'm really lucky that I get to do what I do. So even though I feel half the time like I don't know what I'm doing, I'm here for a reason, and so are you. So big hugs, and I will talk to you soon, Successful Mama. For more resources, classes, and community, head over to my website, motherhoodinadhd.com.

Podcast EpisodePatricia SungADHD women, ADHD @ work, Business, Productivity, Self care, Time management